We Might As Well Be Strangers
by Loves to dance
Summary: James wakes up in St. Mungo's, but can't remember anything from his past. He struggles to figure out who he is and why he ended up with amneisa. Of course, it's no help that his Healer is a beautiful redhead whom he can't seem to get out of his mind.
1. Where Am I?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own HP & Co.

...

"Beep… beep… beep."

He slowly opened his eyes, but immediately shut them in response to the bright light. He tried again and once his eyes adjusted to the lighting, he glanced around. He didn't recognize anything. The walls were white, there was a sort of strange equipment near his head, and he saw a table with several bottles out of the corner of his eye. There was no one in sight.

He tried to sit up, but felt a burst of pain spread across his body. He didn't know exactly what hurt; it felt more like every bone in his body was broken. He bared the pain to look down across his own body. It was covered in white bandages; although why, he didn't know.

He began to panic and the beeping noise became more frequent. Where was he? A hospital? And why? What had happened to him? Why was his body covered in bandages? Why didn't he know why he was here?

Just then a beautiful young woman wearing lime green robes rushed into his room. She had a bottle in her hand; the label read "Heart rate normalizer—made with dragon hide." Nervously, James stared at the woman. She was young, no older than twenty-one. She had dark red hair, which was tied back and emerald green eyes. Inscribed on her lime green robes was, "St. Mungo's."

"You're awake," she suddenly exclaimed, a look of relief washing over her face as she rushed to his side. "Here, drink some of this." She poured some of the contents from the bottle into a cup and put it to his lips. He attempted to reach his own hand up to grasp the cup, but pain shot through his entire arm. "Don't try that yet," she said.

He allowed her to pour the liquid into his mouth. It tasted horrible, like rotten eggs. He drank it anyway though. The beeping noise on the machine returned to a normal pace.

"How're you feeling?" the red-haired woman asked.

"Fine," he answered. He was shocked to hear his own voice, it was very deep. "No, sorry, where am I?"

"In St. Mungo's," she answered.

"I'm sorry, where?"

"St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries," the woman said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

So he was in a hospital. He was glad to get that issue taken care of. It certainly explained the white bandages. He still had one lingering question though, "Why am I here?"

"Well, medically, you took a very serious blow to the head. It looks as if you might have been put under the Cruciatus Curse. You've got a couple of broken bones, some pretty bad burns on your arms and legs, and I believe that we may need to re-grow some of the bones in your spine. I didn't want to start treatment until you woke up though. It's not safe to perform any of those spells or give you any antidotes while unconscious," she explained.

Re-grow bones? Several broken ones? Cruciatus Curse? Bad burns over his body? What was going on? What had happened? Why had this happened to him? Could this even be true? Had he been tortured by another wizard? And if so, why? Why did someone find the need to place the Cruciatus Curse on him? What had he done?

He needed to know, he needed answers. "Why? Why did this happen to me?"

"We were all hoping that you'd actually be able to answer that one," she replied. "The Aurors best guess is that a Death Eater did this, which is very probable. They just need you to identify which one, if possible. And of course, to recount the events."

"I, I don't remember any of that," he slowly said. Death Eaters; he recognized the term. They were Lord Voldemort's supporters. Did that mean that he was on the "good" side of the war? Had he been off fighting?

"That can happen," the young witch remarked. "It's not unusual for someone to forget their traumatic experiences, especially after being unconscious for as long as you were. I'm sure that you'll remember soon enough, just give it a couple of hours. Then you'll be able to tell the Ministry everything and hopefully they'll be able to catch whoever did this to you."

"How long was I unconscious for?"

"At least five hours," she replied. "At least that's how long you've been in here for. Only Merlin knows how long you were out before John Prittle found you."

He was trying his best to process this new information. He didn't know who John Prittle was, but it didn't seem to be a very pressing issue. The important thing was that he would be able to give the Aurors his story soon enough. This Healer woman, whatever her name was, would be able to fix everything too. He suddenly felt bad. Here was this beautiful woman, doing her job and fixing him and he didn't even know her name.

"Anything else?" she asked, giving him a friendly smile.

"Um, yes, just one more question," he replied. "What's your name?"

Her smile dropped and a look of hurt spread across her face. "You don't remember me? I know it's been a few years, but really?"

"I'm sorry, have we met before?" he apologized.

"It's me," she stated, "Lily Evans."

Now he felt really bad. He had just insulted her by not remembering her name. Damn, he was not off to a great start. It surprised him too; she was rather pretty and he thought that he would have remembered meeting such a beautiful woman.

"I'm sorry," he apologized again.

She cocked her head and stared at him for a moment. She didn't say a word, she merely studied him. She bit her lower lip, as if she were trying to figure out a puzzle.

Then, she suddenly said, "Tell me, what's your name?"

He thought this was a rather foolish question. She obviously knew his name. What was the point in asking? He opened his mouth to speak, but then snapped it shut. What was his name? He felt his heart rate increase again; the machine's beeps became louder and closer together. Lily Evans didn't reach for the potion though. Instead, she stared intently at him.

How could he not know his own name? This was madness. What was it? Finally, after several attempts to remember it, he finally admitted, "I, I don't know."

She pursed her lips and commented, "How very curious, very curious indeed."

"What is my name?" he urgently asked, ignoring her words.

"James," she answered, "James Potter."

Okay, that did nothing for him. He tried to think back to anything that would help him, but couldn't recall anything about his history. He didn't know if his parents were still alive or how many brothers and sisters he had. He didn't remember the names of any of his friends or if he was employed. For that matter, he didn't even know how old he was. All he knew, thanks to Lily Evans, was that his name was James.

"James, can you answer a few questions for me?" Lily asked.

"Um, alright," he said.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

"Waking up here," he nervously replied.

"Hmm," she muttered. "And what are your best friends names?"

"I, I don't know," James stammered.

"Okay," she slowly said. "What's a Muggle?"

"A non-magic person," he immediately answered.

Lily sighed and said, "Well, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you weren't hit with a Memory Charm. The bad news is that the physical trauma that you went through is what caused your memory loss. This means that it will all come back to you. However, I have no idea how long it will take and there's nothing that can be done to speed up the process."

"Okay," he slowly said.

"I know it's a lot to process, but it'll get better, I promise," she informed him. "And, on the bright side of things, I heard that there's quite a few people here who want to see you. I'll understand if you don't want to see them all. In fact, as your Healer, I won't allow them all in. But I'll go and get the most important one; he's been here for nearly four hours."

"He?" James asked.

"Sirius Black," Lily said, "He's your best friend."

"Okay…"

"And once he leaves, we'll have to start treatment. I'll wait an hour to do so, but not much longer. I don't want your best friend to see you in such pain, otherwise I'd start your treatment right away," she said.

"Pain?"

"Re-growing bones is a tricky business and those burns will take quite a while to heal. Mending the broken ones should be no problem at all though," Lily answered. "Just don't think about it until you have to."

"Right," he muttered.

"Okay, now if you'll excuse me, I'll have someone get your friend. I know he's dying to see you," she said.

"Wait," he suddenly said. "How do we know each other?"

Lily stopped in her tracks and stared at him for a moment. She had a strange look across her face, as if she was unsure how to go about answering his question. Finally, she settled on an appropriate response and said, "We went to school together."

Once she was gone, he stared in silence at the ceiling. So, his name was James Potter. It was strange; that was all he knew about himself. He didn't know who his parents were, if he had any brothers or sisters, or who his best friends were. He didn't even know what he looked like. He could see a mirror in his peripherals, but it hurt too much to move so he opted not to look. Besides, from what he could tell, he was covered in bandages.

A few minutes later, he heard Lily talking to someone outside his door. From their tones and volumes, it was like they didn't even realize he was there; a fly on the wall.

"What the bloody hell are you doing here?" the man asked.

"I am James's Healer," Lily answered. Even if she hadn't said that, James still recognized her voice.

"Well, you shouldn't be," the man snapped.

"Sirius, shut up," Lily said, she sounded very aggravated. "I am good at what I do and you know it."

"I want someone else," the man, apparently James's best friend, replied.

"This is strictly professional," Lily snapped.

"No, I want someone else," Sirius argued.

"You and I both know that I am the best Healer on this wing of St. Mungo's," Lily practically shouted. "Don't you want the very best care for him?"

"And he doesn't have any objections?" Sirius retorted.

Lily voice was softer now, more caring. "Didn't they tell you?"

"Tell me what?" Sirius demanded.

"Oh God," Lily groaned. "I told them to tell you."

"Tell me what?" Sirius nearly shouted.

"Sirius," Lily sighed. "It's more serious than we originally thought. He's got a lot of breaks, sprains, bruises, and burns, but there's more. To the best of my knowledge, it looks like he took a pretty big blow to the head and well, he's got amnesia."

"What?"

"He can't remember anything," Lily explained. "He woke up and didn't know who I was… he didn't even know his own name."

"No, this can't be right," Sirius muttered.

"But it is," Lily replied. "He probably won't recognize you either."

There was something going on here, just what he didn't know. Why didn't Sirius want Lily to be his Healer? Was there something wrong with her? If only he could remember! It was just so difficult. He had thought that Lily had been a perfectly pleasant woman. Besides, so far, she had been his only human contact and he liked her. He hadn't even met this Sirius bloke yet. Whatever the two of them had been arguing about, James decided that it didn't matter. He wanted Lily to be his Healer.

Just then, the door opened. James saw Lily's red hair fly away as she went to go check on another patient. A man, presumably Sirius Black, came inside. He had a very handsome face, which at times appeared to be hidden by his somewhat long jet-black hair. His grey eyes were full of life.

"How're you feeling?" Sirius nervously asked, eyeing his best friend.

"I suppose I've been better," James cheekily replied.

"Well, you look like a bloody mess," Sirius said; there was a tinge of laughter on his face.

"Apparently I got pretty banged up," James stated. It wasn't a cold response, or even a bitter one. Instead, it was full of irony. James didn't know why, but he had a feeling that he and this Sirius bloke often joked around a bit.

"Ah, nothing Prongs can't handle," Sirius smirked, as if he had forgotten about James's current brain injury.

"Prongs?" James asked, a strange look spreading across his face.

"It's your nickname," Sirius reminded him. "And mine is Padfoot. Our other two friends, Remus and Peter, have the nicknames Moony and Wormtail."

"Why?"

"It's a long story," Sirius answered. "I'll tell you all about it another day. I don't want Miss prying ears, Lily Evans, to overhear us."

"Why don't you like her?" James asked. "She seemed lovely."

"Looks can be deceiving," Sirius grumbled.

"She said she went to school with me."

"Is that all she said?"

"Yes."

"Okay," Sirius slowly said. "She did. She was in our year and same house at Hogwarts. You two were Head Boy and Girl."

"So we were friends?"

"Sort of," Sirius answered.

Just then, there was a knock on the door and Lily Evans entered the room. "Okay, Sirius you've got to leave now. I'm not going to wait to get these bones set any longer."

"Oh, come on Evans," Sirius whined.

Lily snapped her head to look at him. James had a strange feeling that Sirius had just touched a nerve, although why, did not know. She had a sad look on her face though; a look that James didn't find attractive on her.

"Out, now," Lily snapped at Sirius, giving him a very angry stare.

Once Sirius had left the hospital room, after promising that he would be back in the morning, Lily face softened. She went to a nearby cabinet and began to pull out several large bottles. They were all different shape and sizes; some contained warnings and others had smoke sneaking between the wedged top and glass bottle.

"Okay James," Lily began. "I'm going to warn you, this isn't going to be pleasant, but unfortunately it needs to be done for you to get better."

She poured the potions from two bottles into a single cup and brought it to his lips. The liquid was hot and he felt his face flush at once. It tasted odd too, although what it was, he didn't know. Then he felt a sharp pain in his arms and legs and he let out a small whimper, which Lily assured him meant it was working.

Twenty minutes later, the pain had subsided and amazingly he felt a little bit better. Lily instructed him to get some rest and told him that would be back in the morning to do the next series of treatment. She left him lying in his bed in the dark.

James sighed and looked around the dark room, even though it was completely pointless. He strained his mind, trying to recall a single memory. However, it was no use. The last thing he could remember happening was waking up here, in St. Mungo's.

...

**Author's Note: **Hey everyone, thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. Now, if you all could do me a little favor and review, that would be lovely!


	2. Who Am I?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter & Co.

**Author's Note: **Thanks so much to CelloguyX, Gemm, shetlandlace, Jennifer, Miss Sammi Potter, mansts, redglasses, Eve1980, Fatima, pippapear, WhtChoc, hpotterfan2047, Blue-Eyed Chica, deathly fan, Brianna Katelyn Evans, snaplappl21, CrazzyD', Princess Sophie Potter, letschangetheworld, karenwrites, Romancing Hogwarts x3, flowerypetal, and Jennifer for revewing! You all are so amazing!

...

James woke up the next morning to the sound of loud voices outside his door. He recognized one at once; it belonged to his Healer, Lily.

"He doesn't know anything," she demanded, sounding quite harsh.

"We need to talk to him," a man snapped. "He might be our only lead. Do you want You-Know-Who to go about and terrorize anyone else?"

"Of course not!" Lily exclaimed, sounding very insulted by the very idea of it. "But you talking to him will be of no use. He doesn't remember anything. He can't help you so just leave! He needs rest and he needs peace and quiet. And, you, sir, are not helping him with either of those."

"He could tell us valuable information," the man muttered.

"He didn't remember his own name so I highly doubt he'll be able to help you," Lily stated, sounding quite angry.

"I need to know why he was even there in the first place," the man said, ignoring her words. "He's not an Auror, he didn't have any right to be where he was. What if he's working for Him?"

"James Potter is not working for Him," Lily hissed. "I would bet my life on it."

"You haven't seen him in three years, correct?"

"He wouldn't," she insisted. "And I don't know why he was there, maybe it was a mistake! No matter though, he is still my patient and I will not allow you to come in here and bother him. So, if you would please leave, I'm sure you know where the exit is."

"Do you want me to get the Minister of Magic in here?" the man asked. "He will grant me permission to interrogate Potter, anything to catch a Death Eater."

"For the millionth time, James Potter is not a Death Eater. You are jus accusing him because you're stuck. It's not my fault, or his, that you haven't been able to catch a single one in the past month, despite all of these attacks," Lily fiercely told him. "Now, get out before I call security and have you removed!"

"Fine," the man gruffly stated. "But mark my words, Miss Evans, I'll be back."

"And I'll have security standing by," she countered.

James couldn't believe what he was hearing. Just yesterday Lily had told him that she was quite sure a Death Eater had attacked him, but from the sounds of it, someone else was eager to believe that he was a Death Eater! What was going on here? He wouldn't be working for Voldemort, would he? It didn't sound right; it couldn't be right.

Then again, how was he supposed to know what was right and what was wrong? For all he knew, he could be a Death Eater. Maybe he was involved in the Dark Arts. It was possible. For all he knew, he could be Voldemort's leading man.

Lily seemed convinced that he wasn't though. But, as the man had pointed out, how was she to know? Apparently, James hadn't seen Lily for the past three years and according to Sirius, they were sort of friends. She surely didn't know him very well. How was he supposed to take her story to be the truth?

This was bad, very bad. He needed answers. He needed his memory back. All he had was his name, age, the fact that he was Head Boy, and that he may or may not be a Death Eater. Great, just great. This was awful.

He heard the door click open and James immediately shut his eyes. He didn't want Lily to know that he was awake. He didn't want her to know that he's overheard her conversation. James was sure that she would reiterate that there was no way he could possibly be a Death Eater, but he didn't want to hear it from her. He was convinced that the mystery man outside his door was right; Lily didn't know him well enough, they were little more than strangers.

"James," Lily softly said as she turned on the lights. "Wake up, James."

He kept his eyes shut. He wanted to make his slumber seem realistic; she'd have to try a little bit harder.

She touched her hand to his shoulder, just about the only part of his body that wasn't covered in bandages. He didn't know why, but the touch of her fingertips sent shivers down his body. He knew that it wasn't normal, so why did his Healer's touch have this affect on him?

Pushing it aside, James flashed his eyes open and looked at her. Her face was still slightly flushed from arguing with the strange man. "Hullo," he said, feeling very stupid.

"Glad that you're awake," she replied, a smile forming, lighting up her face.

"Why, plan on torturing me more with regrowing bones?" he cheekily asked. Why did he just say that? It wasn't a nice thing to say; obviously she didn't have a choice, she had to give him the potion. Why was he being an ass?

Surprisingly though, she smiled at him and replied, "Today I've got something much more fun in store. It'll be the slow and painful process of healing burns."

Apparently, she didn't find his words offensive. Maybe that was part of his sense of humor. Maybe, since she had known him for so long, it was okay. Or, maybe she just excused it because of his condition. That was probably it.

"And no memories?" she asked.

"Not yet," he answered.

"They'll come back to you," Lily informed him.

"I hope so," he muttered.

She turned her back to him and began pulling out different types of potions from a nearby cupboard. Every once in a while, she would pull one out, shake her head and put it back.

"So, you just leave all the potions in there," he stated, observing her work.

"Yes, but don't get any funny ideas. Only St. Mungo's staff can take out the potions, otherwise an alarm goes off and the building practically goes into lock down," she replied. "And of course, there's no apparating in or out of patient rooms, so there's really no escape."

"Sounds intense," he stated.

"There was a patient fifty years ago who stole the whole lot and then disapparated out of here. He sold all of the bottles and then, because he didn't have the proper medical care, ended up tragically dieing from a severe Dragon burn. It was bad. He started wailing so much that Muggles became curious and rushed him to a Muggle hospital. The doctors didn't know what to do, but tried their best. They ended up killing him, accidentally of course… It was a pretty large mess for the Ministry," she informed him.

"Oh."

"Stupid Ministry," Lily mumbled. "They just don't listen, not at all. It's gone to rubbish."

"Excuse me?"

"Sorry," she apologized. "I know you work there and all, but they just really need to clean up their act. The only time they're doing well is when Fudge goes to Dumbledore for help."

"I work at the Ministry?" he asked, bewildered. If he worked at the Ministry, then why was the Ministry trying to accuse him of being a Death Eater? This just didn't make any sense, not at all.

"Well, last I heard, yes you work at the Ministry," she replied. "You work in the Department of Magical Games and Sports… Of course, you're not really involved too much with Fudge and the Aurors, that's for sure. Most of them are just going power crazy, trying to deliver good news to the public. I know the truth though, they haven't gotten far and they haven't even reported nearly as many injuries as they should. They haven't even said anything about you."

Okay, now he was defiantly confused. Was the Ministry corrupt? Had Voldemort infiltrated the Ministry of Magic? Maybe he had spies there. Then it hit him, what if he had been one of Voldemort's spies? Was it entirely improbable? Was it likely? Lily didn't seem to think so, but James still couldn't get that other man's words out of his mind. What if he, James Potter, was on the bad side of the war?

"This is going to hurt a little," Lily warned, changing the subject. She came toward him with one vile of potions in her hand. There was smoke coming up from it and James knew that she had just finished concocting the final ingredient.

"I'm ready," he replied.

He slightly opened his lips, waiting for her to pour more hot liquid down his throat. However, she set the potion down on his bedside table. He was confused; this was not how he was healed last night.

She then turned her attention to the bandage on his left arm and began to unravel the white gauze. What he saw made him want to gag. It was his skin, he knew it was there somewhere, but it certainly didn't look like skin. There were bubbles of rippled flesh and spots of black all along his arm.

James looked at Lily, but she didn't seem to be fazed by what she saw. He realized that she must see stuff like this all time, despite how odd James thought it looked.

"It looks worse than it actually is," she said after seeing the distraught look on his face. "And once I've healed it, it'll be as good as new, don't worry."

"I'm not worried," he immediately answered. He didn't want her to think that he was weak and couldn't handle a little burn.

She reached for a sterile piece of gauze and poured some of the potion onto its surface before bringing it to his arm. Once the potion touched his skin, he immediately felt his skin begin to boil. This couldn't be normal, could it? How was making his skin hot help his already burned skin? The next instant it was cold, bitter cold. His arm went rigid as the potion penetrated the skin. He could feel pins and needles up and down his arm, followed by a shooting pain. Next he knew, his arm went completely numb.

"It's weird, isn't it?" Lily commented as she watched his facial expression change through each transformation of the potion.

"What exactly does this stuff do?" he asked, wincing as the numbness went away and the shooting pain returned.

"It grows new skin," she answered, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Just picture a snake shedding its skin and in twenty-four hours, that'll be you, hopefully. The burn is pretty bad and I've never seen anything quite like it, so hopefully your arm will look completely normal by tomorrow, otherwise we'll have to do another round of this."

"So, I'm actually growing new skin," he stated.

"Yes," she answered. "Tell me or one of the other nurses when it really starts to hurt. That's when the new skin is mending itself into the good skin that you've already had and it means that it's working really well. If you don't get that pain though, we'll have to start over."

"You mean it's supposed to hurt more than it is now?" James asked, giving her a nervous look.

"I'm afraid so," she answered. "Which is why we're going to do your arms today and wait until tomorrow to do your legs. We'll do you chest last; it'll be the hardest to control. Don't worry, it doesn't matter how long we wait, it'll still work just fine."

Lily then wrapped a new bandage over his arm, encasing the potion onto his arm. She then moved to the other side of the bed and repeated her actions with his other arm. He could feel water burning in his eyes. Damn it this hurt!

"I'm sorry," Lily apologized, seeing the pain flash across his face.

"It's okay, it doesn't really hurt," James lied. Why was he doing this? Why did feel the need to act all macho around her? She was his healer, she needed to know if things were hurting. He couldn't help himself though. He couldn't bring himself to tell her that he felt an immense pain rush across his arms and legs. He couldn't tell her that he had never felt this uncomfortable in his entire life. Okay, that last one was a lie. He had never felt this much pain in the past twenty-four hours, since he woke up without his memory.

"Just try not to think about it," she suggested, sensing his lie.

"It's kind of hard not to," he frankly informed her.

Lily sat down in a nearby chair and looked at him, all bandaged up with no where to go and without his memories. "I'm here, I'll do my best to take your mind off it."

"Don't you have other patients?" he hesitantly asked, not that he wouldn't enjoy her company.

"I do," she replied. "But I'm not the only Healer on this floor, so I think they'll all survive." She grinned at him, revealing her pearly whites. Strangely, it made him feel warmer inside and subsided the pain.

"Okay," he slowly said. "Sirius said that you and I were Head Boy and Girl, is that true?"

"We were," she replied. "Did he say anything else?" James got the feeling that she was nervous about this conversation.

Sirius had said more, but James didn't want Lily to know that. Sirius had said that Lily was up to no good. Sirius had said that Lily wasn't the sweet, kind witch that she appeared to be. James didn't think it was appropriate to share this information though, especially since he wasn't sure he quite believed it himself.

"No, nothing else," James replied.

"Well, we were Head Boy and Girl," she said, looking much perkier now. "We were both in Gryffindor too. It was actually a lot of fun too. You let the power go to your head a bit and found great joy in docking off points from Slytherin, but it all in good fun."

"So, we were friends," he slowly said. Sirius had said no, but what did Lily have to say about it?

"Yeah," she answered. "We were friends. We spent a lot of time together and told each other just about everything and anything." She had a faint smile on her face as she went down memory lane.

"But we're not anymore?" James hesitantly asked.

The smile faded and she didn't say anything for a moment. "It's hard, you know, people grow apart. It was easy at Hogwarts because we saw each other everyday, but out of school it was harder to keep in touch. We just grew apart, that's all."

James had a lurking suspicion that Lily wasn't being entirely truthful. Her words were too rushed, too broad for him to believe. She was hiding something from him, just what, James didn't know. It seemed as if they were both hiding something from him, both Sirius and Lily. It looked as if neither of them were going to slip up either.

His suspicion was only confirmed when Lily got to her feet and stammered, "I should really get back to my other patients. Call if you need anything at all. Bye." Her words were rushed and there was a tinge of pink in her cheeks.

There was defiantly something that she was not telling him.

...

**Author's Note 2: **Hey everyone! I hope that you enjoyed this chapter! And now, if you could review, I would greatly appreciate that and just might update super speedy.


	3. A Trip Down Memory Lane

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter & Co.

**Author's Notes: **Thanks so much to deathly fan, Brianna Katelyn Evans, redglasses, Princess Sophie Potter, ktlyn, Celloguyx, callie258, Eve1980, Avigail Messika, BlAcKdAuGhTeR, Katie, Fatima, Jasper Hale, pippapear, Expectance, Blue-Eyed Chica, shetlandlace, snaplappl21, An Aspiring Author, Romancing Hogwarts x3, siriusforeva, NJ MacReiley the Helpless Romantic, and Princess Ducky for reviewing! You guys are awesome!

Avigail Messika: No, this is definately not a sequel to "Confessions of the Head Girl" the two stories are unrelated. If, and that is a big IF, I do write a sequel to "Confessions of the Head Girl" it will be clearly stated in the bio and will have a title among the lines of "Confessions of the..." Right now, I have no ideas for the sequel and just want to concentrate on this fic. But if I ever do come up with a good enough idea, I will tell you all in my profile.

Now, on with the story! Enjoy!

...

James sat up in his bed and stared at the ceiling. He was bored, very bored. There was nothing he could do about it either. Without the use of arms, he couldn't read a book or a newspaper, he couldn't eat whenever he pleased, and he couldn't even write a letter to anyone at all. Not that he knew who he would write to, but it seemed like something to do. But no, he was stuck in the hospital bed bored out of his mind.

Lily couldn't spend all her time with him, she had other patients. Besides, she had been acting quite odd around him since they spoke of Hogwarts hours earlier. Every time that she came in to check on him, she was in and out of room in a hurry. She made no effort to talk with him, other than his medical conditions that is.

His friends and family weren't here either. He wondered why that was. He had been at St. Mungo's for a day now and his only visitor had been Sirius. Where were his parents? Where were his other friends? Why wasn't anyone here to see him? James knew that Lily had only allowed Sirius to see him yesterday, but that was yesterday. This was today. Where was everyone else? Why didn't they want to see him?

It made him question who he was more than ever. What if that strange man who had argued with Lily was right about him? What if he, James Potter, was a Death Eater? It would certainly explain the lack of friends and family. Maybe his parents are so ashamed of him that they refused to see him. He couldn't believe it, his own parents weren't here. And what about brothers and sisters, weren't they all coming? Sure, he didn't know if he had brothers or sisters, but it seemed probable. Where was his family?

As time passed by, James began to dread his amnesia more and more. If he had his memory, he would know everything. He would know why people weren't visiting, he would know why Lily had grown anxious around him, and he would actually know who his friends were and possibly force them to come visit him.

Eventually, he heard a knock on the door and muttered, "Come in."

In came three men, all in their early twenties. James recognized one at once as Sirius Black, his only visitor and apparent best friend. James didn't know who the other two were though. One was tall, almost as tall as Sirius. He had sandy brown hair and soft grey eyes. He looked exhausted and his robes were quite worn. The other man was much shorter and had blonde hair and watery blue eyes. He appeared to be staring at James with such apprehension that James began to feel nervous.

"Thank Merlin you're okay!" the blonde haired man said, relaxing slightly.

"Wormtail, he's a bloody mess," the brown haired man replied. "No offense, Prongs."

"None taken," James slowly said. He recognized Prongs as his own name, Sirius had informed him of it the previous evening. Wormtail, he recognized that as well. Wormtail was one of his friends. James only assumed that the other man had the nickname Moony.

"I'm Remus, Remus Lupin," the brown haired man said, "Sirius said you wouldn't remember any of us... And this is Peter Pettigrew. We went to school with you too."

"All best friends and roommate at Hogwarts," Peter piped up. "Always running off and getting into trouble. We had so much fun. You and Sirius, well, you two certainly knew how to land yourselves in detention!" He was smiling and nodding at James, as if to show him his admiration.

"Haven't been too bored here, have you?" Sirius casually asked as he plopped down into a nearby armchair. "Evans hasn't harassed you too much or anything, has she?"

"Evans?" Remus cut in and looked back and forth between Sirius and James.

"That's right, Moony," Sirius replied. "Lily Evans is his Healer."

"No, that can't be right," Remus stated.

"Apparently, she's the best on this floor," Sirius bitterly remarked.

James scanned his eyes from each of his two friends. What had Lily done to make them hate her so much? Other than not talking with him too much since that morning, James thought she seemed perfectly normal. There must have been some history there. Judging from the look of distaste on Sirius's face, James guessed that she and he had gotten into a row of some sort. Maybe she was his ex-girlfriend, after all, they had gone to Hogwarts together and he seemed to hate her the most. Yes, James decided, Lily must have dated Sirius, that's why Sirius can't stand her. There was no other reasonable explanation. Of course, James had no intention of asking either Lily or Sirius about it. That would only open a can of worms, which he certainly didn't want, especially when he had amnesia.

"Well, my arms do feel as if they're about to fall off," James admitted. Regrowing skin was even worse than regrowing bones.

"Nothing you can really do about that one though, mate," Sirius said. "Tergum potion is pretty nasty stuff."

"Anyways," Remus said, "Sorry we couldn't be here earlier. We all had work today." Work, of course. James felt stupid now. Of course his friends were all at work. Of course they would come directly to the hospital to see him afterward.

"Got something for you too," Sirius said. He stood up and dug around his robes for a moment. Then he pulled out a photograph and brought it over to James.

It was a photograph of four people standing in front of a gazebo. They were all smiling and laughing at him. James recognized one of them as Sirius, although it was quite apparent that this picture was a few years old. Sirius's hair was longer now and his body was much fuller now. He couldn't have been more than sixteen in the photograph.

James had never seen the remaining three people though. A boy stood next to Sirius, he had a large, mischievous grin on his face. He was about the same height as Sirius's younger self, but much more scraggly. He had black hair, just like Sirius, but it was messy whereas Sirius's was straight and sleek. He also wore glasses, which surprisingly didn't look geeky on him at all.

Standing behind the two boys was an older couple. The woman was tall and thin. Her hair was black, just like the two boys, but it had flecks of grey spattered about it. She looked worn and tired in the picture, as if she had expended all of her energy into posing for it. Next to her stood a man, who had messy black hair just the boy standing next to Sirius. He was plump though, at least compared to the woman and the two boys.

"Is this your family?" James asked, looking up at Sirius.

Sirius's smile faded and he didn't say anything. James could feel all three men staring at him. What had he said?

"You know, they are my family," he answered. "Not biologically, but they are more like a family to me than my real one… James, that's you and your parents."

"What?" he asked. That couldn't be right, could it? He didn't wear glasses and he certainly didn't have that strange mop for hair, did he? He wasn't tall and gangly, was he?

Remus transfigured a wall hanging into a mirror and brought it closer to James. As James stared at his reflection, for the first time since he had entered St. Mungo's, he gasped. That boy in the picture was him. There were his glasses, staring right back at him. And his hair, it was definitely messy. Granted, he couldn't see all of it. Parts of his head were covered by a large head cast, but he could see the jet black tufts near his forehead. For the first time, he saw all the damage that his accident had brought him. His face was scratched and bruised. He looked like a complete mess. Yet, behind the injuries, it was definitely that same boy in the photograph, only a few years older.

"My parents, why aren't they here?" James asked, turning his attention away from the mirror and onto Sirius.

"James," Sirius slowly said. "They, they died two years ago. Your mum had been pretty sick for nearly seven years. She was in and out of St. Mungo's for the longest time. And well, one day she never woke up… Your dad, he couldn't take it. Even though it had been coming on, he refused to believe it would actually happen. He died two months later… he was really depressed after your mum…"

His parents were dead. That couldn't be right. James was only twenty-one. Parents were supposed to live to see their children through their young adulthood.

"I'm sorry, mate," Sirius said.

The conversation between the four young men carried on for another couple of hours. Sirius did his best to cheer James up after the news of not having any family, but it took a while for James to convince himself that this wasn't actually new information. They explained to James all of the pranks that they had pulled while at school, some of which he found funny, but many he found just stupid and immature. But that was what his life had been, full of jokes and hexes on some greasy kid they called Snivellus. Hmm, James thought, some life.

Worst of all though, it brought back his lingering suspicion about if he was a Death Eater or not. From the sounds of it, his childhood consisted of tormenting anyone who wasn't deemed worthy enough, or simply got in his way. To him, that sounded exactly like the pathway to pure evil.

As the evening hours dawned on, Remus announced that he had better leave. The hospital was closing to visitors soon, which made the others agree that they would come back to visit their friends the following day.

Just as Sirius was about to leave, James called him back. He needed answers, straight forward answers. He didn't want to tiptoe around this anymore.

"You know me better than anyone else, correct?" he asked.

"Um, yeah," Sirius replied. "We've been friends since the first day on the train to school. Then when I was sixteen and ran away from home, I lived with you and your folks. So, yes, I would say that I know everything there is to know about you."

"Am I good?"

"Excuse me?" Sirius asked, taken aback by the strange question.

"Am I on the good side of the war?" James asked again. "Or, or am I bad."

"Why are you asking this?" Sirius demanded. "Evans said that by the looks of it you were under the Crutiatus Curse. Good wizards don't do that to other wizards. Only someone on the other side would do that."

"Are you sure?"

"James, I would bet my life on it," he answered. "There's another reason, too. Now, you can't go along blabbing this to anyone, and I mean anyone. Tell Evans and the secrecy behind it all is over… You belong to a secret organization here to prevent the furthering of this war. I'm not completely sure, but my best guess is that you were following a suspected Death Eater and the bloody bastard caught on and did this to you. But, remember this, you can't tell a soul this. This is between you and me."

"I won't tell," James replied. Okay, so he was not a Death Eater, thank Merlin.

"Why are you asking anyway?"

"I overheard Lily talking to a man about it outside my door earlier," James answered. "He kept on insisting that I knew more than I was letting on and that I had to be questioned. Lily was pretty pissed about it though."

"About the only sane thing that woman thinks," Sirius muttered.

Unable to help himself, James finally asked, "Why don't you like her?"

"When you get your memory back, you'll know why," Sirius answered.

That was clearly not the answer that James had wanted, but he couldn't press Sirius on the matter any longer. For at that moment, the witch in question walked into the room. She scolded Sirius for still being there, telling him that if he didn't get out she'd personally have him removed.

"How're your arms?" she asked, once Sirius grouchily left.

"About the same," he answered.

"Good, good," Lily said and made toward the door.

"Why are you ignoring me?" he asked.

Lily came to a complete stop and turned to face him. He could tell that he had struck a nerve. He knew that she felt as if she had been caught. Of course, she did her best to hide it as she nervously replied, "No I haven't. I just have a lot of patients."

"You've said five words to me since this morning," he replied, staring intently at her. This sudden reassurance that he was part of the good side made him feel more confident. It was as if a giant weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

Lily tightly shut her eyes before looking him straight in the eye and saying, "I'm sorry." Her cheeks turned a light shade of pink and James couldn't help but think that it only made her look more beautiful.

"Sit down," he insisted. "And just talk to me." Other than when Sirius, Remus, and Peter came in, I've been bored out of my mind."

She did as she was told and collapsed in the chair next to his bed. By the relaxed look on his face, James had a feeling that this was the first time she had been able to sit all day long. He had seen her buzzing around all day, always appearing to be on the move and off to see another patient.

"How was your day?" he asked.

"About the same as usual," she answered. "It's a long day, here at St. Mungo's. Call me crazy, but I love it here. I wouldn't change it for the world."

"And your boyfriend doesn't mind you being here all the time?" James asked, avoiding eye contact. He didn't know what led him to ask that question. Why on earth did he say that? It wasn't any of her business if she had a boyfriend or not. Besides, he was still convinced that Lily had dated Sirius while at school, meaning that she was hands off. Even with amnesia, James still understood the rules of friendship: don't date a friend's ex. Not that he would date Lily, even though he did find her very attractive.

She laughed and replied, "I don't have a boyfriend, so it's not really an issue."

"That surprises me," he swiftly said. Once again, the words had left his lips before he could stop himself.

"You can't even remember who am I," she stated. "How can it surprise you?"

"I've seen more of you in the past day and half than anyone else," he answered. "So who else am I supposed to think about? I've got you pegged."

"Oh you do?" she doubtfully replied.

"You're smart," James said. "You were among the top students at school. You were also a Gryffindor, meaning that you were among the bravest. You're strong headed and won't take no for an answer. You're proud of your work, but also have a bit of a cocky attitude about it. You're good at what you do, you know it, and you won't let anyone else forget it either."

"Well, well," she said, crossing her arms across her chest and smiling at him. "You're good."

"I'm not done," he countered.

"Continue."

"You were in love," James began, studying her every action as he spoke. "Something bad happened between the two of you though." She was staring at him, not breathing at all. "You fight when you see him, but then you go home and think about how much you miss him."

"Not quite," Lily said as she got to her feet. She began to walk towards the door, but paused before leaving. She looked back at James and added, "I was in love and something bad did happen, but we don't fight anymore… He hasn't really seen me since that day."

James watched her leave and his curiosity deepened. Maybe she hadn't dated Sirius, after all, they still appeared to fight all the time. What was her secret? What was it about her that made him want to know? What was it about her that made her a mystery? And why did he want to solve it just as much as he wanted his own identity back?

...

**Author's Note 2: **Hope you all liked the chapter! Please review and tell me your opinions, it would mean a lot to me and it often leads to super fast updates!


	4. A Picture's Worth a Thousand Words

**Disclaimer: **I don't own HP & Co.

**Author's Note: **Thanks times a million to snaplappl21, An Aspiring Author, shetlandlace, DolphinDreamer24-7, lils03, CelloguyX, karenwrites, NJ MacReiley the Helpless Romantic, pipapear, BlAcKdAuGhTeR, Katie, youna, heart11broken, Expectance, buttonbit, Horse-James-Book-Lily-Worm, RachelElizabeth, Grace Potter Evans, Blair.The.Adorable, Eve1980, Romancing Hogwarts x3, Blue-Eyed Chica, callie258, "me", and Frecklednproud for reviewing! It means a lot to me!

...

James's eyes flashed open. All of a sudden he felt an immense pain spread from his fingertips to his shoulders. It was unbearable, as if someone had just taken one hundred daggers to his arms. James winced and bit his lower lip as the pain increased. He could feel every muscle in his body contract and he fought to keep his eyes open.

Unable to hold it in any longer, James let out a small yelp. Damn it this hurt! Lily had told him that healing his skin would be painful, but this was just downright torture. He would prefer the burn-damaged arms to this pain any day.

Just then, Lily rushed into the hospital room. Her cheeks were flushed and her red hair was flying as she swiftly approached his bed. "James, I'm so sorry," she began. "I should have been in here half an hour ago, ready to anticipate this."

"It's nothing," he yelped, but the disgruntled look on his face gave away his true feelings.

She grabbed his hand with her own and held onto it. For an instant, it was as if the pain had receded. Lily Evans was holding his hand and it made everything feel okay. He forgot the pain and instead focused on the strange feeling of butterflies in his stomach. It only lasted an instant though and the shooting pain returned to his mind.

"Squeeze my hand, I promise it'll make you feel better," she soothingly said.

He did as he was told, but was conscious as to how hard his grip actually was. He didn't want to hurt her; she was so petite, not breakable, but small. After a couple of minutes the pain began to recede. The feeling of daggers was replaced by the feeling of pins and needles, which was soon replaced with a numbness. He let go of Lily's hand, despite his urge to keep it within his grasp.

Lily then took off the white bandage from his left arm. He was amazed at what he saw. Just yesterday, his skin had had a reddish tint and had been covered in disgusting looking blisters. Now, however, his skin was free of blisters and blackened burn marks. It was a pale white, not ghostly, but certainly not tan. As Lily walked over to his other side and removed his other arm bandage, James observed his left arm. He bent it at the elbow and then straightened it out; it appeared to be normal. He flexed and saw that he had a small, but definite muscle. In fact, his arms were quite toned.

"Surprised?" she asked, crossing her arms across her chest and smirking at him.

"Well, yes," he admitted. From the picture of his family that Sirius had brought him, James had guessed that he was merely tall, slender, and wimpy looking. Apparently though, he had grown quite a bit since that photograph was taken.

"You were a pretty good Quidditch player, so don't be too shocked when we unmask the rest of you," she said as she grinned at him.

"I played Quidditch?" he asked.

Lily threw away his arm bandages and was gathering the same potions to renew his skin on his legs. She paused to turn and look at him, replying, "You were captain for two years, didn't Sirius mention that?"

"No, he must've forgot," James answered.

Once all of the potions were gathered, Lily took off James's bandages on his legs. James chose not to watch this time. He could only imagine the bad shape they were in. Quite frankly, he wasn't sure if his stomach could bear it.

"I highly doubt he could forget it," Lily said. She spoke as if she weren't staring directly at a gruesome mess of blisters and burned skin. "All you could talk about is Quidditch this and Quidditch that. You were mildly obsessed with the sport. I went to the World Cup with you, Sirius, Remus and Peter the summer after we graduated and Merlin, you nearly took my head off when I told you I didn't think a certain play was spectacular."

James laughed at his own foolishness. "I'm sorry about that."

She smiled as she took a fresh bandage and covered his legs. James could feel the odd sensations from the potion spread throughout his legs. However, it wasn't as bad this time. Perhaps it was just because he was used to it. But, he suspected it had something to do with the fact that Lily was here to distract him from the pins and needles that spread up and down his leg.

"You were eighteen years old and obsessed, it really didn't surprise me," she answered. "Besides, it was a fun match to watch, so it was worth it. It was hilarious though, your team won and you were so excited that you randomly hugged some random old man. He looked at you kind of strangely, especially because he was rooting for the opposing team. It was fun to watch though."

"What position did I play?" James asked, suddenly becoming more and more interested in the subject.

"Chaser," she answered. "But you always carried a stupid little golden snitch around with you everywhere you went. Whenever you were bored, you'd take it out and let it get just far enough away before catching it again… It used to drive me mad, but you got over that pretty quick."

James thought that that was an odd thing to say, but didn't press on the matter. Lily had finished bandaging his legs and informed him that she had other patients that needed her attention. She did promise that she'd be back and James had to admit, he was looking forward to that moment.

About five minutes after Lily left, Sirius appeared in his doorway. He informed James that Peter was at work and that Remus was doing a "favor" for Dumbledore, which actually meant that he was doing something for their secret society, the Order of the Phoenix. Sirius, however, had somehow managed to talk his boss into giving him a shortened shift so that he could come and visit his best friend in the hospital.

"I come baring gifts," Sirius proudly remarked.

Sirius tossed James a box of chocolate frogs, which James easily caught. He stared at the box in his hands, or actually, at his hands which possessed the box. He could finally use his arms and hands. He finally felt as if he could do some things for himself, without having to rely on others. It felt good.

"I also dug this up from your apartment," Sirius said as he shoved a small picture album onto the nightstand. "Evans said that pictures might bring back your memory, so here you go."

James ate one chocolate frog and then reached for the picture album. It was quite handsome; black leather with gold engravings. James opened the first page and saw a very young version of himself. He could tell at once that Sirius, Remus, and Peter were all standing next to him. The four boys were in front of the Hogwarts Express, coming home from their very first year of school.

He flipped to the next page. It was a picture of a young version of himself along with six other wizards, all wearing maroon robes. It was the Gryffindor Quidditch team, which Sirius informed him, he had been a member of since their second year. There were quite a few more Quidditch pictures as well as a few of his fellow friends. Most of them were at school, although there were a few at his parent's house during the summer holidays and Christmas vacation.

Towards the end of the picture book, James saw a picture that grabbed his attention and made his heart skip a beat. In the photograph, James was wearing his shiny new Head Boy badge and was grinning deeply. Next to him stood Lily Evans. There was no question about it; she looked exactly the same, only younger. Her hair was still the deep red and her eyes were unmistakable. She also wore a Head Girl badge pinned to her robes and waved up at him.

"Lily," James softly said and looked up at Sirius.

Sirius glanced over his shoulder and saw the photograph. He hesitated for a moment and looked quite nervous before saying, "Yes, you two were Head Boy and Girl. There was bound to be a picture of the two of you in there somewhere."

James flipped to the next page. It was yet another picture of him, Sirius, Remus and Peter. It was different than the others though; it wasn't moving. It was a muggle photograph. The four boys all had their backs to the camera and were sitting at the edge of the lake, looking out into the distance. Something about this picture captured his attention more than the others and he stared at it.

Sirius noticed that the pages weren't flipping at a continuous rate and glanced over James's shoulder. "Evans took that one," he explained. "She's muggle-born and her parents had just sent her a camera for her birthday. She was so excited that she asked us to pose for her. She promised that it would be a picture of the albums and I suppose that she was right."

James nodded and then flipped the page. It was another Quidditch picture. However, it was very different than the rest. In his seventeen-year-old hands, James clutched onto the Quidditch Cup, which he and his teammates had won. He had a large grin on his face and all around him, there were people cheering. Sirius came into the picture and he and another boy had picked James up onto their shoulders. Remus and Peter were there as well, both clapping and shouting with everyone else. The excitement never died down.

James smiled as he turned the page, but it dropped at once. It wasn't that he was sad or even mad. He was shocked. The picture was yet again from winning the Quidditch Cup, but the masses of people surrounding him were gone. Instead, it was jut him and Lily again. He had one arm around her waist, holding her close to his body. She was leaning in and kissing him on the cheek. She then stopped and stared right at him, a smile present on her face. Then, in the photograph, James leaned closer to her and kissed her straight on the lips. Perhaps it was just the excitement that drove their kisses. Yes, he decided. It was merely the excitement of winning the Quidditch Cup. His seventeen year old self certainly didn't have any other reason to be kissing the former Head Girl, right?

He flipped the page to the next photograph. It was one of him, Sirius and Lily. All three of them were sitting near the lake. Suddenly an aquatic creature made a small appearance before diving back into the lake. Lily, in the photograph, looked excited and pointed towards the animal. Both James and Sirius turned to look. Sirius wasn't fighting with Lily in the picture. In fact, they appeared to be quite good friends.

The next photograph was just of him and Lily and once again, it was a muggle picture. They were outside, on Hogwarts grounds. It looked like a lovely spring day and James guessed that it was close to their final days at school. He had both arms wrapped around her and a giant grin spread across his face. Her hands were touching his, forcing her arms to cross in front of her chest. She was happy about something; her lips were in an open smile, revealing her straight white teeth.

"Sirius, what is this?" James nervously asked. That final picture was more than a caught in the moment kiss, he was sure of it.

Sirius, who had stuffed a chocolate frog into his mouth right before James said his name came over to look at the picture. His face seemed to stiffen and his chewing came to a halt. He looked from James to the photograph and back to James again. He then held up his finger to indicate that he would answer once he finished chewing and James couldn't help but notice that it took an unusually long time for that.

Finally, after slowly chewing the chocolate frog, Sirius muttered to himself, "Go to James's, grab the photo album, check the pictures first… damn it." He had been ticking off his fingers as he went through his to do list.

"Sirius," James said again, this time much more confidently.

Sirius took a deep breath and admitted, "You and Evans dated back in seventh year."

"Why didn't you tell me this?" James asked. He felt betrayed. He had trusted both Lily and Sirius, but they were both lying to him. The fact that he and Lily had been together in the past seemed like a pretty big deal to him, so why hide it?

"Sorry, mate," Sirius sincerely said. "We, Evans and I, just figured it was better if you didn't know. We didn't want you to act any differently to her, you know, since she's your Healer."

"I can't believe this," James slowly said. "For how long?"

"Well, since you woke up."

"Not that!" James exclaimed. "How long did we date for?"

Once again, Sirius looked nervous. He bit his lower lips before answering, "Only seventh year. You got together in the fall and then broke up right before we graduated. She, er, she thought it would be best to have a clean break then. She figured that you'd drift apart during the summer and didn't want to make it difficult for either of you… It was no big deal, really."

"I can't believe I dated her," he slowly said.

"It was nothing though, mate," Sirius insisted. "Just, just forget about it. That's why we didn't tell you, because it's nothing now. You two had fun for a few months, end of story. She's just your Healer now." He was talking very fast, quite a bit faster than normal. It was almost as if he had been rehearsing what he would say if this situation ever arose.

"Is that why you don't like her?" James asked.

"What?" Sirius yelped. "It's, it's got nothing to do with that, you selfish twit." Once again, he sounded nervous.

"Then why don't you like her?" James persisted.

"I just don't like her," Sirius declared. "End of story. Now, can we talk about anything other than Lily Evans? Jeez, she's not really anything special. She's got a girl who you happened to kiss a few times. Really, nothing special. Let's just drop it."

James didn't want to drop it, but he could tell that Sirius was getting annoyed. He didn't want the only person who came to visit him to stop.

"Chocolate frog?" Sirius asked, sounding like himself again.

…

Later that evening, after Sirius had left, James found himself alone in his hospital room again. He still had the picture album though and he continued to flip through it. He wanted his memory back and could only pray that looking at old pictures would do the trick. So far, he had no such luck.

There was a knock on the door and Lily entered the room. She was looking bright and cheerful as usual. In fact, James was sure that she was the only staff member who managed to look amazing in lime green robes.

"Any memories?" she asked.

"Nope," he answered.

"You'll get them back sooner or later, I promise." She walked over to his bandaged legs and began to pull back the white dressings. She nodded, which James took to mean that everything was looking normal.

"Sirius stopped by again," James commented.

"I'm sure he did," Lily said with a laugh. "He tends to do that."

"He brought a picture album," he continued, ignoring Lily's comment. "It was interesting. There were a lot of photographs of Quidditch and of my friends. There was one in particular that came as quite a shock though." Lily was staring at him now and her smile had faded. "It was of you… and me, together."

"Really," she managed to squeak.

"Were you ever planning on telling me that we used to date?" James asked, staring straight into her emerald eyes.

"I'm sorry I never told you," she replied. She then proceeded to tell him the same story as Sirius did, about their agreement that James should not know about their history together.

"You should've told me sooner," he remarked, sounding defeated.

"James, I'm sorry, I really am," she insisted. She sat in the chair next to his bed and grasped his hands in hers, forcing him to look at her. "It was stupid, it really was. I mean, we didn't even date each other for that long. We broke up the summer after Hogwarts because we had such different schedules, it was a clean break. It was just so hard being together when I was here at the hospital nearly everyday and you were off at the Ministry. It was hard, that's all. Still, Sirius and I should have been honest with you from the start and I'm sorry I really am."

James didn't say anything more on the subject. It wasn't that he didn't want to know more, because he certainly did. Nor was it because Lily insisted on seeing her other patients, because they could easily wait another fifteen minutes. James didn't say anything more on the subject because he was utterly confused.

Lily and Sirius had told him two different stories. Sirius said that he and Lily had broken up before graduating, whereas Lily told him their work schedules after Hogwarts had drifted them apart. Something was not right here. Sirius and Lily were up to something. First they lied to him about dating Lily and next they lied to him about why they broke up.

What was going on here? Why did he and Lily break up? More importantly, why were Sirius and Lily telling lies to him? What had really happened?

James grabbed the photo album from his bedside table and began to scan the pictures one more time. He was more determined than ever to get his memory back.

...

**Author's Note 2: **Ha! And the plot thickens! Hope you liked the chapter and now review please!


	5. New Developments

**Disclaimer: **I don't own HP & Co.

**Author's Note: **Thanks so much to An Aspiring Author, letschangetheworld, Gemm, e.jameson, CelloguyX, Karen, Expectance, snaplappl21, BlAcKdAuGhTeR, Frecklednproud, pippapear, DolphinDreamer24-7, deathly fan, Romancing Hogwarts x3, tasha27, shetlandlace, JimSox149, oldestof3, Jennifer, Blue-Eyed Chica, TaylorxxSue, IhaveaRANDOMsister, H Kral, Miss Sammi Potter, callie258, buttonbit, Princess Sophie Potter, siriusforeva, and Fatima for reviewing! I really appreciate it!

And so many of you have asked when you're going to find out about what happened between Lily and James at Hogwarts and why they broke up, well... I can't tell you that. It would ruin the mystery, suspense, and the fun! Don't worry though, you will find out before the story is over. I have it all planned out in my mind.

...

That night proved to be very difficult for James. He just couldn't seem to fall asleep. Of course, it was quite obvious why. He couldn't stop thinking about Lily. It was worse than before too. Before he knew that he had dated her, James thought of her as his beautiful Healer. Granted he also got butterflies every time she touched him, which would attribute to the small crush he had on her.

However, now that he knew he had once dated her, all he could think about is why they broke up. Or actually, why Sirius and Lily weren't telling him why they broke up. He wondered what had happened between them. One thing he was certain of though was that it had not been a "clean break." Whatever the reason, it must have been messy. Why else would Sirius not like Lily? She sweet, kind, funny, smart, and very attractive. Sirius must hate her because of him, James was sure of it.

He wondered what it could be though. Had she cheated on him? Or maybe he cheated on her. It didn't seem very likely. James didn't know himself very well right now, but it just didn't feel right. He didn't feel like someone who would cheat on someone. Lily didn't seem like that kind of girl either, but then again, what did he know? He could only remember the past three days!

Or maybe she simply stopped liking him. It could happen. Maybe he still liked her though, that's why it had been messy and that's why Sirius didn't like her. James spent most of the night developing many different reasons as to why he and Lily had broken up. Each one had been more outrageous than the previous though. He even got as far as briefly believing that Lily was a Death Eater, but then he recalled that she was muggle-born.

After a very sleepless night, morning finally came and there was enough light in his room that James pulled out the picture album again. He stared intently at the pictures of him and Lily together. They looked so happy. He wondered if he was this happy without her, but guessed against it. Something about his glow in his smile and the light in his eyes made him believe that Lily truly added to his daily life. Of course, it could also be the reason as to why a simple break-up could lead to Sirius hating Lily.

There was a knock on the door and James immediately snapped the photo album shut. He didn't want Lily to think that he had been obsessing over it all night, even though he had.

However, as the door slid open, the woman coming to greet him was not Lily. This woman was much older; she had brown hair with flecks of grey and warm brown eyes. She was a plump, cheerful, older woman.

"Where's Lily?" James immediately asked, furrowing his brows.

"It's her day off," the woman explained, there was a pleasant smile across her face. "But not to worry, dear, I'll be here to take care of you. I'm Mary Ellen, by the way."

"It's, er, it's nice to meet you," he wearily replied. She seemed nice, but she wasn't Lily. He was sure that she would be able to offer the same medical care, but that wasn't why he looked forward to seeing Lily every morning. He wanted to see Lily, whom he felt brightened the room with just one smile.

Mary Ellen was holding a large manila folder, which James guessed was his file. "Dear me, dear me," she muttered. "Nasty little encounter you've had." She walked over to the cabinet with all of the potions in it and began to search it.

James heard a loud crash and looked to see that one of the bottles had fell to the ground. The potion was oozing out of it, staining the tiles blue. He suddenly had a very bad feeling in his gut. Now he missed Lily for her medical skills as well.

"Dear me," she exclaimed. "We'll just have to clean that up." She took her wand out and the mess was gone at once. She then went back to rummaging through the cabinet.

Just then the door opened again and a very familiar voice said, "Mary Ellen, why don't you check on Jacob in 34B and I'll take over here." It was none other than Lily Evans. James felt his heart speed up. She looked more radiant than ever. She wasn't wearing the St. Mungo's lime green robes. Instead, she was dressed in muggle clothing. She wore a knee length khaki skirt, a brown scoop neck sweater and brown high heels. The colors were so ordinary and plain, but Lily managed to make them look spectacular.

"I thought it was your day off," Mary Ellen exclaimed as she almost dropped a second bottle.

"It is," Lily replied. "But I was on my way to visit my mum and dad and thought that I'd stop in for a moment. I know James's case pretty well so I thought I'd just do this one thing and then I'll head out."

"You're not even in uniform," Mary Ellen stated.

"I know," Lily icily said. "I'll just do this and then I'll be on my way. So if you'll check on Jacob in 34B, that would be much appreciated."

Mary Ellen left, but gave Lily a look on her way out. James, however, was grateful. He felt much more confident having Lily here with him than Mary Ellen, not to mention the fact that she seemed to light up the room when she turned and smiled at him.

"Coming into work just for me?" he sweetly asked.

"Don't flatter yourself," she replied, but was grinning at him. "I was in the area."

"In the area? I thought you said you were off to visit your mum and dad. Since when have they lived in a predominately wizard part of London?" James questioned with a smirk on his face.

Lily crossed her arms and said, "Do you want me to fix you?"

"You're pulling that card? No fair," he pouted.

It was as if he had forgotten that Lily lied to him about why they broke up. At that moment, he didn't care. It seemed far from his world. All that mattered was that Lily was here with him, on her day off. She didn't have to come in and see him, but she did. And it gave him butterflies. That one smile of hers made him feel lighter inside. When she looked at him with it, he felt as if they were the only ones in the world. It was crazy, he knew it was. He had really only known her for three days, at least only remembered her for the pat three days. Normal people shouldn't feel this strongly after that short amount of time. However, he did and he couldn't help it.

Before James could think about it any longer or Lily could respond, James let out a sharp gasp of pain. It was happening again. He could feel the new skin on his legs attaching to what was left of his old "good" skin.

"James," Lily exclaimed as she rushed to his side. She took his hand in hers and stared intently at him.

James looked back at her, trying to keep his mind off of the excruciating pain. The weird part was that it seemed to work. When he looked at her, especially since she was not wearing her usual St. Mungo's robes, James actually felt like she was there for him. He forgot that she was his Healer, that she was being paid to care for him, and that they had broken up years ago. Here, in this moment, she was here because she loved him… or at least, that's what he wanted to believe. He knew it wasn't true. This was her job. He was not anyone special to her. He was just her patient. He had let his imagination run wild.

The pain stopped and James let out a sigh of relief. However, Lily didn't let go of his hand or drop her eyes from his. It was as if she was lost in her own memory lane and James didn't know what to do about it. Part of him didn't want to do anything about it.

Soon enough, Lily snapped back to reality and muttered a small, "Sorry" before dropping his hand. Her cheeks turned a light shade of pink and she turned away from him, facing the medicinal potions.

"That wasn't too bad, was it?" she asked.

"Not as bad as last time," James answered.

"Good," Lily replied as she turned back to face him. She held the usual potion bottles, which James began to recognize by their shape, size and color. Lily placed them on the table before removing the bandages from his legs. She nodded her head in approval and looked up at James. "You're healing quite nicely."

James had to force himself to look at his legs instead of Lily's still slightly reddened face. Once he did, he was quite pleased though. He flexed his foot and wiggled his toes, just to make sure they were really working. They did and a large grin appeared on James's face.

"You'll be out of here in no time at all," she commented. "We just need to take of one more burn and then that head injury. It shouldn't be more than a couple days."

"And I'll have my memory back?" he asked.

"No promises there," she answered. "But maybe once you're back in your apartment you'll begin to remember things again… Different things will trigger the memories and no one knows exactly what it will be. It could be a certain person, a picture, an object, or even a smell. Being home will probably bring it back faster though."

"And now we're moving on to burn treatment number three, correct?"

"You know, you shouldn't sound this excited about this," Lily stated, a smile on her face. "It's going to be the worse one yet."

"Are you trying to bring me down?" he jokingly asked.

"Hey!" she exclaimed. "Just be glad I'm here at all. I didn't have to come in today, I could be at my parents house right now."

"But you chose to come here," he sweetly reminded her. "You chose to come see your favorite patient."

"Good point, let me go find that favorite patient of mine," she joked.

"Don't offend me, I'm your favorite and you know it," he replied, giving her the infamous James Potter smile.

"My favorite pain in the ass, yes you are," she said as she nodded her head in agreement.

"As long as I'm the favorite," he swiftly remarked.

Lily rolled her eyes and then proceeded to remove his bandaged torso. It certainly wasn't an easy process though. Despite the fact that his back didn't suffer from any burns, his bandages were still wrapped around his entire torso, meaning that Lily had to unravel it all.

She instructed James to lean forward so that she could reach behind him. This, of course, resulted in perfection. Lily's long red hair was flowing into his face and he could smell her perfume. It made him shut his eyes and simply smile. All he could imagine was sitting with Lily in a field of grass, admiring the sky above them. If it wasn't for Lily's gasp, James would have been lost in that dream forever.

However, she did gasp and it drew him back to reality. "Oh my God," she quickly, yet softly said. James looked up at her face and for the first time, he knew that what she saw on him was not good.

However, as he looked down at himself, James didn't see the reason for her sharp gasp. It looked no worse than his previous injuries. Granted he was no Healer, but he couldn't understand why Lily had reacted in the way that she just did.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing, nothing at all," she replied. She couldn't take hey eyes off of his burned chest. She also didn't move any closer or begin to repair the damage. She merely stood there and stared. For a brief instant, James thought that he had seen her eyes water, but that was only for a second.

Feeling like an animal at the zoo, James suddenly asked, "So, are you going to fix me now?" He tried to make his tone sound light and full of amusement, as if he were carrying on their earlier joke.

"Of course, of course," she replied, shaking herself back to reality. She rushed to his side with the potions in hand. She poured the potions onto his stomach and as usual, began to lightly rub it onto his burnt skin. She hesitated at some spots, but carried on, moving up to his chest.

James watched her every movement, her every hesitation. She looked much more shaken up by his injury than before, it was odd. At the same time, she also was in no hurry to rush the process. It was like an explosion of some sort; it was dreadful to see, but everyone always looked anyways.

"Are you okay?" James finally asked after her gloved hands stopped moving once again.

"Yes, of course," she quickly replied. She then paused to look him in the eye and honestly answered, "I'm sorry, James, I really am."

"What are you talking about?" he nervously questioned. Was there something that he couldn't see? Was his burnt skin not going to heal?

"I don't know why this is suddenly harder for me to do," she continued on, as if she hadn't even heard his last remark. "I'm a Healer, this is what I do. I work in the burn unit for a reason, you know? I've been working on your arms and legs for the past couple days and it didn't affect me like this at all."

This wasn't about his damaged skin at all. It went deeper, much further than skin.

"I'm just being silly," Lily stated as she got up from her seat. She began to take off her latex gloves and pulled on a new pair. "It's just, well, this is you. This is James Potter… you don't get hurt. But here you are in my wing of St. Mungo's. It's just weird, that's all. I never expected to see you here… I don't like seeing you here."

"I'll be okay," he softly said.

"I know," she replied, "I know." She then walked back to him and put fresh bandages across his chest and stomach, locking in the potion.

James felt its affects at once. He wanted nothing more than to cringe and grip onto his blankets; anything to make the pain seem less severe. However, he couldn't do it. He could not bring himself to suffer in front of Lily. It wasn't that he thought he needed to be manly in front of her, not at all. He just didn't want to see her more distraught by the thought of him all beaten up and bruised. It was obviously affecting her more and more as the days carried on and he didn't want to add to it.

Once Lily had cleaned up the mess of potion bottles and used bandages, she gave James a small, sad smile. She looked torn between leaving and staying with him; she didn't take a step closer to him or the door.

"Lily," he softly said. She approached him, staring at him with kind eyes. He reached out and took her soft hand. He looked up at her and said, "You're a good Healer." She lightly smiled at him, thanked him, and then left.

It was exactly what he wanted to happen.

...

**Author's Note 2: **Thanks for reading, I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! I know, I know not a lot of action in there or even new mysterious information leading into James's past, but I hope that's okay. I'd really like your opinion on the chapter, I had more that I was going to add in, but then decided to make it a new chapter instead. I hope by doing that it didn't make this chapter boring or anything. Let me know! And please review... you might get a super fast, as in next day, chapter!


	6. An Early Wake Up Call

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Hp & Co.

**Author's Note: **Thanks sooo much to CelloguyX, Grace Potter Evans, lils03, An Aspiring Author, RachelElizabeth, mansts, the-necromancer, shetlandlace, deathly fan, teacher123, nilpotter, Gemm, Expectance, Blue-Eyed Chica, TaylorxxSue, IhaveaRANDOMsister, pornada, BlAcKdAuGhTeR, DolphinDreamer24-7, Miss Sammi Potter, Eve1980, snaplappl21, Katie, pippapear, siriusforeva, BRI, youna, Romancing Hogwarts x3, Jennifer, and Princess Ducky for reviewing!

Sorry I couldn't post yesterday... I honestly tried. However, right before I was going to, I came to the conclusion that the second half of the chapter wasn't right, at least not yet anyways. So, I took it out and had to start the second half from scratch. Now, on with the story!

...

James awoke to an abrupt knock on the door. No, not a knock, it was more like a pound. He glanced over at the clock, which read eight o'clock. He didn't expect anyone to be visiting him at this hour. Lily didn't usually come into his room to change his bandages until nine, besides her knock was much gentler. It couldn't be any of his friends either; they all had jobs and wouldn't be visiting until the evening.

Without waiting for his answer, the door creaked open. A man walked in and then quietly shut the door behind him. There was something about him that was oddly familiar, although James wasn't quite sure why. He had dark brown hair, which was cleanly cut to frame his face. He was older than James too, probably thirty-five. The man was tall too, towering above James's tiny bed.

"Can I help you?" James finally said.

The man nearly jumped out of his skin. "I, I thought you were sleeping," he gruffly remarked. James knew he had heard that voice before. It's words had once echoed through his mind. This was the man that had accused him of being a Death Eater.

"I'm awake," James coldly replied. "Who are you?"

"Troy Remington," he answered. "I'm an Auror for the Ministry."

"What do you want?" James asked.

"What do you remember?" Troy questioned.

"Nothing," James replied.

"Nothing? Nothing at all?" Troy asked as he peered at James, as if he were trying to study his every move. "You don't remember who attacked you?"

"No!" James exclaimed. Hadn't Lily told off this man days ago?

"I don't believe you," Troy remarked. He pulled his wand out now and lightly fingered it, never taking his eyes off of James. "You must remember something… anything."

"Look," James said, now very fed up with the situation. "I've got amnesia. I didn't even know my own name when I woke up. I can't tell you anything about what happened, trust me, I wish I could."

"I think you remember it all," Troy stated. "I think you're choosing not to tell me because your master will be upset with you. I think you're a Death Eater and just pretending to be sick to get on the inside of St. Mungo's. When is You-Know-Who attacking next?"

This guy was off his rocker. James couldn't believe the words that had left Troy Remington's lips. Why would anyone willingly suffer from third degree burns, knock their head against a large object, and allow another wizard to put an Unforgivable Curse on him? The answer was that no sane human being would!

"I'm not a bloody Death Eater!" James exclaimed. "And I don't know when You-Know-Who is attacking next or where. I haven't got my bloody memory!"

"Or maybe He's angry with you," Troy muttered to himself. "Maybe you disappointed Him. Maybe he purposely did this to you and now you're using St. Mungo's to hide from Him."

"I'm not a Death Eater!" James shouted. He was beginning to dislike Troy Remington more and more as each second passed.

"Don't lie to me, boy," Troy snarled. "You know something."

"I don't," James hollered.

Troy was now pointing his wand at James's throat. He was eying him with a murderous look, one that sent shivers down James's spine, but not in a good way. Something told James that this man wasn't afraid to use his wand against him.

Just then, the door crashed open once again. Lily stood there with a very angry look spread across her face. Her face was pink and her chest was heaving as she took deep breaths. "Mister Remington!" she shouted, "What part of leave my patients alone don't you understand?"

Troy tore his eyes off of James and onto Lily; he lowered his wand at once. "You, you work today," he stupidly mumbled, more to himself than to Lily.

"That's right," she nearly screamed. "Now stop bothering my patients!"

"We were just having a friendly little chat," Troy stated.

"With your wand pointed at him? I highly doubt that," Lily replied as she crossed her arms across her chest. "Now, Mister Remington, get out before I have you escorted out."

"He knows something," Troy snarled.

"He's got amnesia for Merlin's sake!" Lily shouted at him. "And I wasn't joking, leave before I have you thrown out of the building."

Troy shot her a dirty look but walked toward the door. He paused and said something much softer to Lily. James strained his ears to hear, but was not successful. He guessed that it wasn't anything nice because Lily quite clearly snapped, "Get out."

"That man!" Lily angrily sighed. "He didn't do anything to you, did he?"

"No," James answered. "He accused me of being a Death Eater and of using St. Mungo's for dark activities, but he didn't actually do anything. I thought he was going to for a minute though, until you walked in."

"He's determined to catch Death Eaters," she informed him. "Remington accidentally let five of them escape six months ago and his reputation has been trashed ever since then. My guess is that he's got to prove to the Ministry that he's not a complete imbecile by catching Death Eaters. The problem is that he's gone off and started accusing innocent people, such as yourself."

Just as James was about to respond, he suddenly felt an all too familiar sensation. It was different this time though. Instead of staying in the localized region, this pain spread from his fingertips to his toes. James scrunched his face and let out a small painful, groan.

Instinctively, Lily took James's hand in hers. He tried not to squeeze it too tightly, but failed miserably. He felt as if he was reliving the event that put him in St. Mungo's. The previous two skin growth potions were nothing compared to this one. He could feel it not only on his skin, but it seemed to penetrate inside his body as well.

"It'll be over soon," she reassured him as she ran her free hand up and down his arm. It James hadn't been in so much pain, he would have stopped to admire the action. However, not even Lily could take his mind off it now.

James let out another loud howl of pain. He tried to sink into the bed, away from the potion as his new skin attempted to attach itself to his old skin. However, it was no use. There was no escaping this unbearable, gut wrenching pain. He could feel his face redden; he wasn't taking enough breaths. He couldn't even force himself to breathe, the pain was too much.

"You're almost there," Lily softly said, gasping onto his hand harder. James was sure that he was crushing her poor, delicate bones, but Lily didn't say anything about it. "Just another minute."

He felt as if a hundred tons of water were crushing him, but not to the point of death. It was torture, it really was. It was as if his body decided the water wasn't bad enough and a thousand daggers needed to be inserted into his torso. He had never experienced anything so dreadful in his life, James was sure of it. Nothing in his past could possibly be this bad.

Then it stopped. All the pain was suddenly gone. He felt numb for a minute, but then that faded away as well. It was a sensation that he knew all too well. His burns were gone.

James loosened his fingers, but didn't let go of Lily's hand, not yet anyways. He wanted the moment to sink in a bit longer. He was almost cured. He wasn't a disgusting mess of burnt skin and boils any longer. To top it all off, a very beautiful woman sat directly by his side.

"Are you okay?" she softly asked, but didn't pull her hand away.

"Yeah," he answered as he took a deep breath. He let the air flow in and out of his lungs and noticed that his chest was heaving up and down.

He finally dropped Lily's hand from his grasp, allowing her to go about her job. She reached for his bandages and slowly began to remove them. James watched her every move; his eyes darted from her face to her hands every few seconds.

As Lily took off his final bandage, James stared down at himself. Apart from the bandage of his head, the rest of him was bandage free. It didn't even look like he'd been burned at all. James brought his fingers to his bare chest, wanting to feel his new skin. There wasn't a single sign of ash, blistered skin, or fire red marks.

"As good as new," Lily commented as she put the used bandages in the trash.

James smiled back at her, but then looked down at his body again. He had muscles, not very large ones, but some. He poked his stomach; it was hard. He nodded in approval, glad to see that his appearance had changed slightly from his adolescence.

"Let me just make sure that everything's healed properly," Lily said as she approached his bedside. She brought her fingers to his sides and prodded him lightly. She seemed satisfied with what she saw and continued to bring her hands up his ribcage, feeling each individual bone.

James felt a tingling sensation run the length of his body. He knew his heart had begun to beat faster and only prayed that Lily wouldn't notice. The feeling of her touching him, even in a medical scenario, was enough to make his heart swell and his head spin.

She paused as drew closer to his heart, but didn't say anything. She didn't have to say anything though; James watched as her serious facial expression turned into a half smile.

"It all looks good," she informed him once she brought her hands back to her sides.

"Thank you," he replied. "Thank you for everything."

"It's all in a day's work," she answered, flashing him a smile. "And by the looks of it, you'll be out of here tomorrow. I just want to take a peak at your head and keep you on observation over night."

"Tomorrow," he stated. "It sounds so soon."

"It is soon," Lily replied. She had picked up his paperwork and began to mull over it, writing down comments as she read over it.

James took this as the opportune moment to stretch his legs. He hadn't left the bed, except for assisted bathroom trips, since he had entered St. Mungo's. His injuries had been too severe. However, now, James figured that with his burns healed, he was good to go.

He swung his legs over the bed and stood up. It was difficult at first; he had to grasp onto the bedpost to hoist himself up. However, once his legs got used to walking again, James wandered over to the window. Lily had seen his struggle, but didn't say anything. She merely observed him from behind the paperwork.

As he looked out the window, James was surprised at what he saw. There was a bright sun outside, shining down on the ground below. There was also a large garden filled with benches. He noticed a couple people wearing long, white gowns muttered around outside. The outside provided relief to many of the long-term patients, who were being escorted around by St. Mungo's employees.

"Can I go out there?" James asked.

"Later today, yes," Lily answered. She was no longer holding her paperwork. Instead, she stared intently at him. It wasn't the look that a concerned Healer gives her patient; it was much deeper than that.

"Not now though?" he hopefully asked.

"Not now," she replied. "You need to rest a bit."

"I feel fine."

"Don't lie to me," she said. "Your heart was still racing, the pain, or the shock of pain, isn't gone yet."

"That wasn't because of the pain," he softly replied. Lily made no sign of recognition and James wondered if she had even heard him. Better yet, was it a good thing that she hadn't heard him?

Once James was settled back in bed, he watched as Lily walked out of the room. For a brief minute, he swore he heard her say, "I know it wasn't the pain."

...

**Author's Note 2: **Thanks for reading! I hoped you all enjoyed the chapter. Now please review!


	7. The Gardens

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter & Co.

**Author's Note: **Thanks so much to TaylorxxSue, snaplappl21, Miss Sammi Potter, CelloguyX, shetlandlace, LilyandJamesLover, Expectance, ILuvvHP, youna, e.jameson, Princess Sophie Potter, BlAcKdAuGhTeR, Princess Ducky, Katie, IhaveaRANDOMsister, oldestof3, Fatima Anis, DolphinDreamer24-7, Jennifer, tasha27, Romancing Hogwarts x3, letschangetheworld, Eve1980, Blue-Eyed Chica, pippapear, and siriusforeva for reviewing! You guys are amazing!

...

James skimmed through the glossy pictures of a Quidditch magazine that Peter had brought him days ago. Once again, he found himself alone in his St. Mungo's room. Remus came to visit during the afternoon, but Lily kicked him out so that she could examine his head. The good news was that it had healed during his several bone related treatments. The bad news was that now that he head bandage had been removed, his jet-black hair was messier than ever before.

There was a knock on the door and the handle slightly opened. Standing on the other side was Lily, looking even more ravishing than ever. Nothing about her appearance had changed; she still wore her St. Mungo's lime green robes and her hair was still pulled back into a loose ponytail. However, there was something about her that made his heart skip a beat.

"Want to get some fresh air?" she asked, a smile spread across her face.

"I'd love to," James answered. He threw the magazine on the nightstand and jumped to his feet. Other than the memory loss, he felt as good as new. Physically, there was nothing holding him back.

They walked out to the gardens that James had previously admired from his window. They were larger than James had imagined and if he had not been with Lily, he probably would've gotten lost within them. The pathways were long and branched out in several different directions, each one leading to a different garden arrangement, fountain display, or small pond.

After walking a considerable distance, Lily finally settled onto a bench looking out at a koi pond. There was several lanterns surrounding the pond and bench; soon to be the only source of light now that the sun was setting.

"This is my favorite part," Lily announced. "You can see the sunset perfectly from here. And then once it's disappeared beyond the horizon, the lanterns light up the place. It's fun to go over and feed the fish then; the water sparkles and the fish are jumping in the air."

"Sounds cool," James remarked.

"It is," she replied with a smile. "Just wait and see."

He did his best to remain calm, but inwardly, he was jumping up and down. "Just wait and see," her words were echoing through his mind. It would take a considerable amount of time for the sun to set and darkness to come over the garden. That must mean that Lily was expecting to give him her undivided attention for the evening. The hospital was no longer her top priority; he was.

"So, what was I like at Hogwarts?" James asked as he gave Lily a sideways look.

"What years?" she countered.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, James, to be completely honest, you were kind of a prick for the first six of them," Lily said. "You found some sort of joy in ridiculing other students and hexing them, especially the oddballs. There was one kid in particular, and well, you just hexed him and embarrassed him for a few laughs."

He was confused now. James thought that he was one of the good guys, Sirius had assured him that he was a good wizard. So why had he tortured poor, innocent kids at school? That didn't sound like the start of a decent wizard. On the contrary, it sounded more like the acts of a dark wizard.

"Then something happened… I don't know exactly what it was," Lily continued to say. "You came back seventh year and you were different. You didn't hex anyone and only made fun of that one boy behind his back with your friends. You had changed, a lot. Of course, you were still running off doing only Merlin knows what and breaking every school rule possible, but you were a good kid. I think maybe the responsibility of being Head Boy and Quidditch Captain must have gotten to you because you really came back a changed wizard."

"And that's when we dated?" James asked, just for clarification.

Lily's cheeks turned a light shade of pink and she answered, "Yes, that's when we dated. For years you had asked me out, but I always said no. I was convinced you were just doing it to get a couple more laughs in or something. But then one day during seventh year you asked me again and I said yes… You were just so different than most guys there. You had goals and dreams in life. You knew where you stood and were loyal to those who stood by you. And, well, you were really sweet, really good to me."

Her eyes flashed in his direction and James caught them at once. His lips formed a small smile as he stared directly at her. There was something there, he could feel it. His heart and soul were telling him that the butterflies in his stomach and the speed of his beating heart meant something. He just knew that no other woman had ever made him feel this way; no other woman could make him feel this way.

"And what were you like?" he asked, never taking his eyes off of her.

"I was the only girl crazy enough to date you," she laughed.

"Come on, tell me," he pleaded and lightly shoved her with his shoulder.

"I worked hard and did well in all my classes, not as good as you, but almost," Lily replied.

"You have to give me more than that," James stated. "Who was the girl that caught my fancy?"

"What caught your attention was that I said no time after time," she replied. "But I don't know why you initially sought me out. But if you must know, I was the girl who curled up with a book in front of the fire and started the snowball fights in the winter. I was the girl who wanted nothing more than to camp beneath the stars at night. None of my friends would do it with me though, well, except for you."

"We camped beneath the stars?" he doubtfully asked.

"Just once," she answered, a genuine smile spreading across her entire face. There was a light in her eyes that sparkled into the light of the nearby lantern. "It was our last night at Hogwarts and we snuck out of the dorm at two in the morning. Then we snuck off to a very deserted area near the lake, where Filch, the caretaker, wouldn't even think to come look for students out of bed… We ended up talking all night long and just watching the stars."

"That sounds nice," James replied, but he was thinking much more. If he and Lily had spent a very romantic sounding night together on their last night at Hogwarts, then Sirius must be lying. James and Lily had definitely not broken up merely because the school year was ending. There was more to the story, much more.

It was the first time that his mind had wandered back to that topic all day. For the most part, he liked to forget it. He liked to believe that Lily and Sirius were not hiding anything from him. However, hearing Lily talk about a romantic night beneath the stars only made James more curios as to why their relationship came to an end.

To spend the whole night talking after dating for eight months and then simply dating for a normal reason was just not reasonable. Most couples only spend whole nights talking during the beginnings of their relationships. What he had with Lily must have been very special to be able to maintain that interest. The school year ending and work schedules separating them didn't sound right to him. There was something deeper than that, something far worse that had separated them years ago.

"We did a lot of stuff like that," Lily announced, pulling James back to reality. "One time you showed me a secret passage into Hogsmeade, the local village. Once we were there, you took me out to dinner and then we went exploring with nothing more than the light from our wands and the stars above us… We got in so much trouble, but it was worth it."

"How'd we get in trouble?"

"Filch caught us sneaking back to Gryffindor at midnight. He told our head of house, Professor McGonagall, and she gave us each a week's worth of detention. She gave us the biggest lecture about how we were Head Boy and Girl and should be setting an example, not breaking school rules. It was worth the detentions though," she replied.

"You know, you don't strike me as someone who gets in trouble and breaks the rules," James said. Every thought about Lily and Sirius lying to him had disappeared from his mind. Now, all that mattered was Lily telling him all the stories about when they were together. All that mattered was sparkle in Lily's emerald eyes and her gentle smile as she spoke.

"Looks can be deceiving," she replied, her small smile transforming into a large grin.

"Oh yeah?"

"Very deceiving."

Their eyes locked again and he could feel his body involuntarily lean closer to her. He could feel her move closer as well, all the while, not taking her eyes off of him. His heart was racing and he could feel butterflies swarm inside his body. Her lips were luscious, full and pink. They were egging him on, wanting him to move even closer.

The next instant they were gone. Lily had broken her gaze and stared out at the pond in front of them. Where just a second prior her lips had been, James was now staring straight into her dark, red hair. He shook his head and then looked toward the pond.

"Want to feed them?" Lily hesitantly asked.

"Sure," he replied and they both got to their feet.

Both Lily and James were very cautious of their proximity to each other as they reached the edge of the koi pond. They had been dangerously close to kissing, which would have been very bad. Well, no, James imagined that it would be quite good to kiss Lily Evans. However, she was his Healer and his ex-girlfriend. Kissing her would surely be a bad idea, right?

The more he thought it was a bad idea to kiss her, the more he wanted to do it. He wanted to feel her breath against his and her lips on his. He wanted to wrap his arms around her petite waist and pull her close to his body. He wanted to feel her fingers run through his hair. He wanted to run his hands along her skin and take in every ounce of her body.

He watched as she tapped her wand on a nearby brick, opening up a cabinet, which concealed the fish food. She was holding her hair back with one hand, but it still toppled into her face. There wasn't a lot that he wouldn't give in order to sneak up behind her and grab into her a bear hug. But he couldn't; she was his Healer. She wasn't his to hold or his to kiss.

She emptied a small amount of the food into her hand and threw it into the pond. Beneath the moonlight, the lanterns were burning brightly and the fish began to scurry towards the top of the pond, jumping for the food. Lily smiled with delight and James could see why this was her favorite part of the garden. The lanterns dimly lit the rose bushes surrounding the pathway that encircled the pond. The fish were eagerly awaiting their food and the moon was shining brightly above their heads. There was even a twinkle from the stars; it was the perfect place.

"Here, take some," Lily instructed as she handed James the fish food.

He poured it into his hand and then tossed it in the middle of the pond. The fish went scurrying over again, swimming as fast as they could towards the middle of the pond.

When James looked back at Lily, he saw that she was sitting on the edge of the pond, on top of the stonewall. She placed one hand into the water and lightly traced circles into the water. James sat down on a nearby rock and continued to look at her.

"When I first started working here, you and I came here a lot," she informed him, not taking her eyes off the water. "I used to work strange hours, but you'd wait until my break and come eat lunch with me here a few days a week."

"Why did we break up?" he asked, hoping to receive the real answer from her.

She didn't say anything, but merely continued to stare into the water. She stopped drawing circles with her fingers and brought her hand back to her lap, drying it off with her robes. Finally, she replied, "I already told you. Our work schedules drew us apart."

"But you just said I used to come eat lunch with you a few times a week," he pressed on. "Doesn't that imply that we saw each other?"

"There's more to making a relationship work than silly lunch dates," she said, but still didn't look at him.

James continued to stare at her. He knew she was lying to him. He knew there was more. He was beginning to discover who he was and the James Potter that he saw himself as would have never let her go over time constraints. The James Potter that he saw himself as would have found a way to make it work; she was worth it.

"We should get going back now," Lily finally said. "My shift has been over for an hour now and the evening nurses will probably be checking in on you soon."

James got to his feet and offered her a hand. She took it, although she was hesitant at first. He hoisted her to her feet and as she stood up, their eyes met once more. He didn't let go of her hands, nor did she pull them away.

Without thinking, James leaned forward and his lips met hers. They were soft and warm, everything he had expected of them. He could taste her cherry lip balm, which had made her lips look so irresistible before. He could feel her breath against his, its warmth and stickiness.

An instant later, he could feel the cool air against his lips and an emptiness in his hands. He slowly opened his eyes and saw Lily looking away from him and down at the ground. Her cheeks were pink and he could see her chest moving up and down with each deep, rapid breath she took.

James didn't know what to say or do. He didn't know what to make of Lily's reaction. Had she enjoyed the kiss? Had she wanted the kiss? He couldn't tell. He just didn't know.

"We, um, we should get back now," she finally said, but still didn't look him in the eye.

They headed back up to the hospital in silence, which James didn't mind at all. He was actually a little bit relieved; it gave him time to process the situation. Why had he kissed her? Better yet, why did he still get butterflies in his stomach just thinking about that kiss?

When they had finally made it out of the gardens and back onto his floor of the hospital, Lily bid him a very quick goodnight and then hurried away, leaving James standing outside his room. Still unsure of what to think of the night, James sighed and turned open the handle. He was shocked to see that his room was not empty.

"Where the bloody hell have you been?" Sirius asked, his arms crossed in front of his chest and a sour look across his face.

"I was in the gardens," James replied before plopping down onto his hospital bed.

"I've been here for a bloody hour," Sirius hollered.

"You could have left."

"You were with her, weren't you?" Sirius asked, ignoring James's previous comment.

"So what if I was?" Jams asked.

"Listen, Prongs," Sirius began, "She's no good for you. Stop going after her, stop thinking about her, stop anything that involves her."

"No."

...

**Author's Note 2: **Hope you all liked the chapter... much more exciting than the previous two! Now, if you would all review, that would be reatly appreciated. And next chapter, James goes home and I have HUGE plans for him!


	8. Home Sweet Home?

**Disclaimer: **I wish I owned the HP characters, but I don't.

**Author's Note: **Thanks so much to Expectance, deathly fan, BlAcKdAuGhTeR, Ariadne, mansts, refined, shetlandlace, DolphinDreamer24-7, Eve1980, greenbean16, Romancing Hogwarts x3, Anime Wildfire, oldestof3, youna, the jack and karen show, IHeartJamesPotter, Katie, CelloguyX, TaylorxxSue, Miss Sammi Potter, IWantToMarryJames, Princess Sophie Potter, letschangetheworld, snaplappl21, LilyandJamesLover, callie258, edwardandbellaforever25, Blue-Eyed Chica, redglasses, enchanted-legend, tasha27, siriusforeva, Amanda, and Jennifer for reviewing! You all are awesome!

...

James awoke to yet another knock on the door. He groggily opened his eyes, but couldn't see a thing. It was only then that he remembered he wore glasses. Last night was the first night he didn't have to sleep with a bulky bandage covering his head, meaning that he could take his glasses off her sleep sideways for once. After fumbling around for a good twenty seconds, James finally pulled his glasses onto his face. Everything became crystal clear.

"Good morning," Lily said as she approached him.

"Morning," he replied. All grogginess had suddenly escaped him.

"Any memories?" she asked as she began examining him.

"Not yet," he answered.

"Well, maybe once you're home," Lily said. "Being in a familiar place might help. Like I said earlier, there's usually something that just sparks it. No one knows what it'll be, but a certain scent or object will probably do it…. You'll have a much better chance at home than here."

"It's weird to be leaving," he confessed.

"It'll weird not having you here," she replied.

James wondered what exactly she had meant by that? Was she going to miss him? And if so, would she miss him as a patient or maybe as something more? He considered bringing up their kiss, their perfect kiss, but decided against it. What would he say anyways? 'So, Lily, that was some kiss. I know I don't have anything to compare it to right now, but maybe we should do it again sometime soon.' No, that would just sound stupid.

"Well, James, other than the amnesia, you are free to go," she informed him, placing her hands on her hips. "Remus is in the waiting room filling out some forms; he'll take you home."

Five minutes later, Lily had helped him gather his small amount of belongings and escorted him down to the waiting room. James saw Remus at once, hovered over the forms. He scrunched his brow in confusion, shook his head and then scribbled something down quickly.

Just as James was about to walk over to Remus's side, Lily said, "James."

"Yeah?" He turned around to look at her and noticed how nervous she looked. It was strange, seeing her this way. She had been calm and collected all along, with the exception of a few minor slip-ups, but nothing quite like this.

Before he knew what had even happened, Lily ran up to him and wrapped her arms around his body. James was taken quite off guard and even stumbled backward a couple steps. As soon as he gathered what was going on, he returned her embrace and held her tightly to his chest.

It wasn't a long embrace, at least not long enough for James. The smelly of her fruity shampoo brought a smile to his face as he breathed into her long, red hair. Her frame was small and his arms easily fit around her. What made his heart beat the fastest though was the fact that he could feel her deep breaths penetrate his clothing, onto his shoulder.

"When you get your memory back, please come see me again," she whispered into his ear before their embrace ended.

"Of course I will," he reassured her.

There was a longing in her eyes and James could see that they were flushed with tears. "We really should talk, okay?"

"Lily," he softly said.

"When you get your memory back," she restated. "Please, when you get your memory back."

What happened next was a blur for James. As soon as Remus noticed Lily talking to James, he immediately hopped to his feet and interrupted their conversation. Lily appeared to be slightly grateful for this; it gave her an excuse to leave before her watery eyes progressed to anything more.

James, however, was quite annoyed. Something told him that Lily was about to reveal the truth to him, about why they broke up. He wasn't certain, but there was something about the way she had been acting that made him weary about it. But no, Remus came and ruined any chances of that.

From there, Remus appeared to be in a hurry to exit St. Mungo's. They fled off so fast it was as if there had been a fire in the building. The next thing James knew, he was walking into a fireplace and using the Floo network to get home, accompanied by Remus.

As he stepped out of the fireplace, he looked at his new surroundings. His flat wasn't very large, but then again, one man didn't need a lot of space. His living room consisted of a large black leather couch and two matching chairs, all angled to face the fireplace. Over the fireplace, stuck onto the wall, was a wooden Gryffindor lion. Normally, James would have thought it was a bit tacky, but its fine craftsmen told him it was a special piece of artwork.

"Welcome home," Remus said from behind him.

"Yeah," James mumbled, still observing his surroundings. He walked over to the coffee table in front of the couch; it was littered with different Quidditch magazines.

"Are you hungry?" Remus asked, walking towards the kitchen.

James didn't say anything, but followed Remus anyway. The truth was that he was a little hungry, but right now he would rather walk around his house. Who knew, maybe Lily was right. Maybe there was something here that would spark his memory.

Once into the kitchen, Remus slid open a large wooden divider, revealing an open window to the living room. He then went to the refrigerator, searching for anything to eat. James peered over his shoulder; perhaps the smell of his own food would bring back his memory. However, the only occupants of the refrigerator were firewhiskey and butterbeer.

Remus then moved on and opened nearly every cabinet. There was absolutely nothing to eat in the entire place, unless of course they cared to survive off of alcohol and chips.

"Don't worry," Remus suddenly said, seeing the unsure look upon James's face. "I really shouldn't have expected to find any food here at all. You're a terrible cook and usually eat out or go over to Sirius's…. I don't know about you, but I am absolutely famished. I'll just go out and grab something for us to eat. I won't be long." And with that said, Remus apparated away.

Despite the rumble in James's stomach, he was glad there was no food to be found in the kitchen. It gave him ample time to search his flat for any bit of evidence as to who he might have been.

James wandered down the very short hallway and opened the nearest door. It was just the loo, nothing special. It contained nothing out of the ordinary, just shampoo, a bar of soap, a razor, and shaving cream.

He then came to the final room, his bedroom. He wandered in and sat on the queen-sized bed, feeling its sturdiness. He scanned the room with his eyes, taking in the miscellaneous items splashed around the room. On top of a wooden dresser, there were several pictures. He recognized one at once; it was the same one that Sirius had brought him of his family. There was one of him as Quidditch captain with his team and another one of the Marauders at the Quidditch World Cup. There was even one of James shaking the hand of someone who appeared to be a famous Quidditch star.

He also had bookshelves attached to the wall; the only aspect of the wall that was covered. He fingered each book, amazed that he had actually read them all. There was a large section on Quidditch and broomstick care, another section of what he assumed were school books, but then there was also quite a large selection of regular reading books. James had never taken himself for someone who enjoyed a good book, but then again, he'd only known himself for less than a week.

James then made his way over to the closet, hoping to find anything that might reveal something about his past. However, he was in no such luck. The closet merely contained clothes, five pairs of shoes, winter cloaks, and a few bath towels. It was just a regular, boring closet.

Taking a chance, James decided to look under the bed. Maybe, just maybe there was something there that would spark his memory. To his delight, there was indeed a box. He pulled it out and ripped off the cover, his heart beating fast.

However, what he saw inside made his stomach curl and not in a good way. On the very top was a framed picture of him and Lily. They were out by the lake at Hogwarts, sitting beneath a giant tree. Lily was smiling as she looked up at him and waved. James was also smiling, however he was smiling up at Lily, not at the camera. He had his head in her lap and every once in a while, he would take his gaze from Lily and onto the camera, bearing a large grin. Of course, it wasn't the picture that made James's stomach curl. It was the fact that the glass had been shattered and cracked. It looked as if someone had taken a fist to picture and he only hoped it hadn't been him.

Beneath the broken picture frame was a golden snitch, which James had assumed had been bewitched to stay frozen in place. He picked it up and studied its features. With the exception of the engraving, "Happy Birthday, Love L" on its side, it appeared to be quite normal. He thought it was a strange birthday gift, especially considering that he was a chaser for the Gryffindor Quidditch team, but it must have meant something special to him.

As he continued to stare at the engraving, he wondered, or rather knew, that Lily must have given him the golden snitch. It made perfect sense; she would have gotten him a birthday gift, the initial was an L, and it looked to be as if this was his break-up box.

James proceeded to set aside the golden snitch. He dug deeper into the box, which was fairly large, and found a stack of letters. They were bound together with string, but by its size, James guessed that there must have been close to one hundred of them.

He broke open the string and went to reread the first letter. However, he was surprised to see that it had never been opened. He then flipped through the remaining envelopes; none of them had ever been opened, but they all bore his name in the same handwriting.

"Oy, James, where are you?" Remus suddenly called.

His heart sped up and James felt like a little kid sneaking cookies from the cookie jar. This box was his; he had every right to look through it. However, James had the slight feeling that none of his friends knew the box even existed, let alone want him to look at it. Besides, James wanted to read the letters in private, without the prying eyes of his friends.

James quickly shoved everything back into the box and replaced it beneath his bed. Then, he jumped to his feet and began to reexamine his bedroom. There was nothing suspicious about that, not at all.

…

To James's slight disappointment, his friends had decided to keep him company all day long. After Remus came Peter, and after Peter came Sirius. There was no escaping them. Even when he wandered off to use the lavatory, his friends questioned his whereabouts. It was quite annoying, especially because all James wanted to do was look at the box again.

Once ten o'clock rolled around and Sirius was still in his apartment, James began to get very antsy. He yawned deeply, hoping that Sirius would get the hint, but nope. Finally, James bluntly said, "You know, I'm getting kind of sleepy. Maybe we should finish up this conversation tomorrow."

"Mind if I spend the night on your couch?" Sirius asked.

"Why?"

"No reason, I just don't feel like going home," Sirius replied.

"Don't you live alone?" James questioned.

"Yes, it gets awfully lonely," Sirius remarked.

"Why do you really want to stay?" James asked. He may have amnesia, but he wasn't stupid. He could see through Sirius's lie from the very start. He was up to something, just what, James didn't know.

"Okay, fine," Sirius sighed. "Evans asked me to spend the night, just in case. She said you would probably be fine and wouldn't start to feel pain from the accident again, but just in case. She didn't want you alone, especially with the whole amnesia thing."

Part of him felt happy about what Sirius had said; Lily cared enough about him not to want him to be alone for his first night back. He was touched; she really did want the best for him. On the other hand though, he didn't want Lily to think that he couldn't take care of himself. And then there was the box of letters, which he longed to open up and read.

"I know it sucks and all," Sirius continued on, "but what if she's right? What if you wake up in the middle of the night and start the feel the side effects from the attack again and you don't know how to get to St. Mungo's?"

"Yeah, sure," James agreed, although he really saw no need for it. He didn't need a babysitter.

"I'll just make up a spot on the couch," Sirius announced.

With that said, Sirius gathered up James's extra blankets and piled them onto the couch. He had to transfigure a coaster into a pillow, but otherwise, James had everything he needed.

James crept back to his own room, wondering whether it was safe to open the box or not. He was very hesitant about it. Once, he was on the floor about to get the box out when he heard a small creak. He darted back into his bed, shoving the box safely beneath him. However, it must have been a false alarm, as Sirius neither knocked nor came in to check on him.

Finally, once he heard Sirius's loud snores, James deemed it safe enough to open his letters in peace. His hands were sweaty and his stomach flipped as he fingered the first envelope. This was it; he was about to find out the truth. He was going to find out why he and Lily were no longer together, he was sure of it.

He slid his finger into the small opening and began to tear it open. He pulled the parchment out and unfolded it, his hands slightly shaking. On the top right corner, Lily had written the date: September 17, 1975. It was over two years old and had never been read.

"_J- __I'm so sorry, you have to believe me. Please believe me, I'm sorry. I love you and I always will love you…"_

"BAM!"

Everything began to slowly fade away until there was nothing left but darkness.

...

**Author's Note 2: **So, what did you all think of the chapter? Exciting, no? Or at least its got you curious, right? Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed it and please review. And now thanks to fanfic, I'll actually know how many people are reading and not reviewing! Yay for fanfic taking it to the next (a little bit creepy) level! So yeah, if you could drop a review, I'd really appreciate it!


	9. The Pensieve

**Disclaimer: **I don't own HP & Co.

**Author's Note: **Thanks to shetlandlace, Anime Wildfire, Expectance, enchanted-legend, mnz, mansts, NJ MacReiley the Helpless Romantic, e.jameson, the-necromancer, greenbeen16, CelloguyX, IHeartJamesPotter, Koffe Krazy, ahoyhoy, theialyn, STELLA STAR, BlAcKdAuGhTeR, xSecretEvansx, IWantToMarryJames, pippapear, v, Avigail Messika, snitch-bewitch, Katie, Harry and Ginny 4eva, heart11broken, hpotterfan2047, snaplappl21, DolphinDreamer24-7, Blair.The.Adorable, d, Annie M, Ariadne, tasha27, Jennifer, oldestof3, Sarah, IhaveaRANDOMsister, youna, Grace Potter Evans, karenwrites, letschangetheworld, DanceDiva, JayJay919, Miss Sammi Potter, aliceee, LBJ equals life, Bighead Enterprises, feri, Haven Linn, BRI, its guuh-rrrrrrrrrreaaaaaaattt, Amanda, Princess Ducky, and callie258 for reviewing! 55 reviews, wow, you are all incredible! Hmmm, maybe I should leave cliff hangers more often... kidding!

...

"James, can you hear me?"

The voice was light and belonged to a woman. He fluttered his eyes, trying to open them, but as soon as he did, the pain in his head only increased. He tried to open them again; not only did he feel the pain more, but as he looked in front of him, everything looked to be fogged over and fuzzy.

"He's waking up," came the woman's voice, an all too familiar voice.

"Lily," he mumbled.

"Yes, I'm here, don't worry," she softly replied. James felt her hand slip into his, giving him a light squeeze.

He felt comforted by this small action and allowed his body to relax again. His mind, however, was still racing. Was he back at St. Mungo's? The last thing he could remember was looking through letters from Lily. Then everything went dark and cold. What had happened to him?

As he thought about it more, he began to worry again. What had happened to him? How long had it been? Was it a mere minutes after reading his letters or had it been longer? Was he indeed in St. Mungo's or had Lily come to visit him? More importantly, why was his head pounding?

He strained open his eyes again, not allowing himself to weakly shut them. No, he was going to suffer the pain for this. He needed information and he needed it now.

"What happened?" he croaked. Once his eyes came into focus, he saw that he was back at St. Mungo's. Lily was hovering over him and looked extremely worries. However, he and Lily were not alone. Sirius was there too, standing in the corner and looking very pale.

"We were hoping you might be able to answer that," Lily softly replied.

"I, I was in my room and then everything went dark," he honestly answered. "My head hurts."

"Here, take this," Lily said handing him a small cup of potion and a piece of chocolate.

He drank the potion in one gulp and was thankful for the chocolate, which covered up the disgusting taste of the medicine. He could feel it working already. The pain had been severely reduced and he even felt a warm glow in his gut.

"What happened?" James asked again.

Lily turned to look at Sirius and nodded at him.

Sirius then began to cautiously approach the bed, still looking very pale. "You were attacked again," he began. "I heard a loud noise come from your room, it was so loud it woke me up. I think it might have been you falling off the bed. And then as I walked toward your room, I saw a flash of light. I burst open the door, but he'd already apparated out of there. I saw you lying on the floor, unconscious, and brought you here."

"You've been out for about twenty minutes," Lily chipped in. "But it looks like you're going to be okay. Sirius walked in before there could be any further damage."

"Nothing compared to last time then?" he asked in a joking tone, although he was half serious.

Lily smiled and replied, "Definitely not."

After a very thorough examination, Lily concluded that James had suffered from nothing that a little magic couldn't easily heal. He simply had to take a potion every four hours and he would be fine. She had been nervous about his concussion, but couldn't find anything harmful resulting from it.

"Medically, I can't keep you here," she informed him. "There's no reason for you to stay here… However, if you want to stay, you can. I don't want you to go home and get attacked again, James. There's someone out there who wants to hurt you and I don't want to see you come through those doors close to death next time." Her voice was soft and her face was pale. He could tell she meant every word.

"He'll stay with me," Sirius announced. He hadn't left James's bedside all day, which although caring, was certainly getting in the way of his alone time with Lily.

James longed to ask her about the letters, but couldn't with Sirius there. It was stupid, really. Obviously Sirius had seen the letters when he found James lying unconscious in his bedroom, however, James still didn't want to talk to Sirius about them. He didn't think Sirius would understand.

"I don't know," Lily began.

"He'll stay with me," Sirius asserted, staring directly into Lily's eyes.

"I don't want to see him hurt again," she stated. It was as if James hadn't even been in the room. Lily and Sirius were both standing now; neither of them removed their eyes off each other. It wasn't the same sweetness that he had experienced with her, no this was much different. James could feel the hated tension rise between them; neither of them were backing down.

"Neither do I," Sirius gruffly said. It wasn't apparent if he had meant physical pain or emotional.

"He obviously didn't do very well under your watchful eye last time," she remarked, her hands on her hips and lips pressed tightly together.

Sirius looked as if he had been slapped across the face, but regained his cool and replied, "He didn't do very well with you either."

"Leave that out," she snapped.

"Maybe I should decide," James finally spoke up. They both sharply turned to look at him, Lily even jumped back a bit. Yes, they had definitely forgotten that he was even in the room.

"Of course," she cheerfully said as she walked away from Sirius and towards James. "You're a grown man, it's obviously your decision. All I'm saying is that you are free to stay here. I'll leave the discharge papers with you; you can take them or you can leave them."

…

Later that day, to Sirius's dismay, they were still at St. Mungo's. He had practically begged James to come home with him, but James wasn't ready to leave yet. It wasn't that he wanted to stay at St. Mungo's for protection, but he felt as if there was something pulling him here.

He needed to talk to Lily, that was what it was. He needed to know about the letters. He had so many questions to ask; how many were there, when did she write them, why did she write them, and most importantly, what did they say? He could always return to his apartment and read them, but James didn't know how long that would take. Sirius left his room once today, and that was just to use the lavatory. James highly doubted he would be okay with James sneaking home to read love letters from Lily.

There was a knock on the door and Lily appeared. James immediately smiled; just looking at her made him feel better. "I have something for you," she said.

"Not more nasty tasting potions, I hope," he joked.

She laughed and replied, "Nope, something much better." She held out her hands, revealing what appeared to be a stone basin with several carvings. James heard Sirius let out a small noise, revealing his shock.

"Er, what is it?" he asked, having no memory at all for this ordinary looking object.

"It's a Pensieve," she answered, still smiling. "I borrowed it from a friend, but it only just came yesterday, after you left. But seeing as you're still here, I thought you might like to keep it for a while." Upon seeing the bewildered look on his face, she continued, "It'll show you memories. For example, I can take out my memory of you winning the Quidditch Cup for Gryffindor and put it into the Pensieve and you could watch yourself fly… They're very cool and very rare."

James took the Pensieve in his hands. He looked it over and found the words, "Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore" inscribed on the bottom of the Pensieve. "Who is he?" James asked.

Lily smiled and answered, "Professor Dumbledore. He's the Headmaster at Hogwarts and a brilliant man. He lent me the Pensieve. He said that when you were done with it and had your memory back, you'd know where to find him."

James continued to look at the Pensive. He wondered if he could put his own lost memories into it, but then realized that he wouldn't know what memories to look for. Would a simple "let me see me interact with my parents" work? Probably not. However, James did share some memories with others, so it was definitely a very useful thing to have.

"Want to see a memory?" Lily asked, her face was positively glowing.

"I'd love to," he replied.

Lily brought her wand to her temple and began to mutter the charm. There was a flow of silver liquid from her head and onto to wand. Once it was completely transferred, she brought her now glowing wand to the Pensieve and dropped it in. The Pensieve glowed with a bright, silvery light. The substance inside was neither liquid nor gas, but rather a mixture of the two.

James looked up and saw Sirius sitting in the chair by the corner. He certainly did not look happy. It was as if he didn't trust the memories that Lily would show him.

"Sirius, why don't you step out and get a bit of fresh air," James suggested, wanting to be left alone with Lily and her memories.

"I'm okay," he cheekily responded. He was clearly not making this any easier.

"Will you get me a glass of water?" James asked, trying to sound polite, but he could tell that his voice displayed a certain amount of forcefulness.

"You have legs," Sirius responded. He did not want to leave James alone with Lily. What did he think was going to happen anyway? Sure, he and Lily had kissed once, but just once. It wasn't as if he was going to jump up and down and proclaim his undying love for her.

"Sirius," James said, much more sternly this time.

Sirius sighed, but eventually gave. He grudgingly left the room, but not before he shot Lily a very dirty look. Why did he hate her so much? Sure, Lily's letters had led James to believe that the reason their relationship ended was because of her, but by the looks of it, that was over two years ago. Sirius couldn't hold a grudge that long, could he?

"Sorry about him," James mumbled.

"Don't worry about it," Lily replied. "He's your best mate, he's just trying to do what he thinks is best for you, even if its not."

"Still," he began, but was cut off at once.

"Shall we see the memory then?" she asked, smiling at him.

James nodded. He watched as Lily brought her face toward the Pensieve and suddenly she was gone. James followed her actions until he was sucked into the Pensieve. He looked around and saw that they were in a filled Quidditch stadium. The crowds were decked out in their favorite colors; scarlet and green, although a considerable amount were wearing scarlet rather than green.

He looked at the filed and saw fourteen players, seven in scarlet and seven in red. They were still on the ground, but both teams were glaring at each other. He saw himself at once; it wasn't hard to miss his mop of black messy hair. He stepped forward and shook one of the green, Slytherin player's hands.

Then, all of a sudden, a whistle blew and all fourteen players shot upward. He had quaffle and zoomed toward one of the goal posts. He then tossed it a nearby Gryffindor chaser and dove downward. A second later, the quaffle was back in his arms and he tossed it through the goal posts. There was a large roar from the crowd and the real James found himself clapping as well.

He then took his eyes off the game and saw Lily, she was beckoning him towards her. "This is the last game you ever played at Hogwarts," she informed him. She then led him up higher into the stands until they were directly behind the memory Lily, Sirius, Remus and Peter.

James looked back at the game and saw himself flying from the Gryffindor goal posts towards the Slytherin one. He tossed the quaffle to another player as one of the Slytherin chasers knocked into him, nearly forcing him off his broom.

"Foul!" the memory Lily shouted. "That's bloody illegal! He can't do that!"

"Calm down," Sirius shouted at her. "He's not off the broom, he'll be fine."

Sirius was indeed correct. The memory James, now raging with furry zoomed forward and slammed into the Slytherin chaser before flying off. He was near the goal posts now. The Gryffindor chaser threw the quaffle in, but the Slytherin keeper was too fast and caught it. He threw it towards the Slytherin chaser, but James sped forward and intercepted the ball. He tossed it into the hoops and to his delight, scored easily.

The game continued on for another hour, in which James had scored six more goals, the two other chasers each scored three times, and the Slytherin team had managed to score thirteen goals. Needless to say, it kept the crowd on the tips of their toes. James had just barely dodged out of the way of a bludger and one of the Slytherin chasers almost got thrown out of the game for bad behavior. In the end, the Gryffindor seeker managed to catch the golden snitch and Gryffindor won the match.

James knew what would happen next, he had the pictures to prove it. He would soon be greeted with applause and a kiss from Lily. Part of him was looking forward to see it again, the kiss from Lily. He didn't know why, but just to see it would only confirm that she had indeed cared for him.

However, just as quickly as they had entered the Pensieve, James could feel himself being sucked out of it. The memory that Lily had chosen to show him was over, before the kiss could be seen.

Once back in the hospital room at St. Mungo's, James noticed a very angry looking Sirius Black standing nearby. Apparently, they had been left alone in the Pensieve for much longer than he had cared for. It was stupid though, nothing had even happened!

"What'd you see?" Sirius asked.

"Just the final Quidditch game," Lily spoke up, eyeing him. "Nothing more, nothing less. Just him winning the game."

Sirius appeared to be satisfied with her answer, as he didn't say anything more on the topic.

Lily then turned to face James and said, "Well, I've technically been done with my shift for an hour now, so I guess I'd better be heading out…. We get in trouble if we stay here too long."

"Right," James stated, unsure of what to say.

"Will I see you again?" she hesitantly asked.

He stared at her, of course he wanted to see her again. How could he not want to see her again? She was perfect, amazing really. He'd have to be a fool not to want to see her again.

Then he realized she meant in the hospital. She had given him the option of leaving. Shit. Now he was going to have to decide what to do. He hated this. He didn't want to go back to Sirius's, he wanted to stay with Lily. However, he didn't want her to think he was weak. Why wasn't this an easy decision?

Allowing his heart to speak instead of his mind, James finally answered, "Yes."

She smiled at him and James felt his heart skip a beat. He had made the right choice. With Sirius still eyeing them, Lily took James's hand in hers and gave it a light squeeze. He knew exactly what it meant. It wasn't for encouragement or to help him get past painful injuries. No, this was meant to tell him that she cared for him.

Once Lily left the room, James sat on the edge of his bed with a very goofy grin across his face. Nothing in the world could brig him down now. He was on cloud nine. He didn't need to see Lily's kiss from her memory. He had his own memory now, which meant much more to him.

"You need to stop," Sirius suddenly said, breaking James's concentration on a certain redhead.

"What?"

"You need to stop thinking about her," Sirius replied. "You can't see her again, James. You just can't. She's isn't good for you." There was a sincerity in his eyes, but James didn't want to see it.

"Why do you hate her?" James asked. "Or, actually don't. I don't care. I like her, a lot."

"I can see that," Sirius stated. "But I'm telling you, James, don't do it. It's not right, not now anyways. You don't have your memory, you don't remember everything about her. Once you get it back and if you want to be with her, that's fine. I won't stop you then. But now, James, now is different."

"Then tell me why she's so bloody awful!" James exclaimed. "Stop lying to me every time I ask anything about her and tell me the bloody truth. I know Lily and I didn't break up because school ended, I've got amnesia, I'm not stupid. And I know you don't like her because she did something."

"Yes, she did something," Sirius finally snapped. "And I won't forgive her for it and neither did you!"

"Tell me what it was," James demanded.

"No, I don't want to see you upset. Can't you just wait until your memory comes back? Can't you just trust me when I say not to see her again?" Sirius asked, sounding very defeated.

"I need to know," James replied.

"Fine," Sirius said after a few moments pause. "Give me the Pensieve and I'll show you everything." He reluctantly held out his hand and there was a very solemn look on his face.

James passed the Pensive over to him and watched as Sirius extracted his memory and put it into the stone basin. James felt his stomach flop as Sirius passed it back to him and his heart sped up. He was finally going to know the truth. After days of being left in the dark, James was going to know why he and Lily had ended their relationship.

He paused as he held the Pensive in his hands, unsure about it all. Was this a good idea? Was he better off not knowing? Was there a good reason for hiding it from him to begin with? However, his curiosity got the best of him. He needed to know.

"Are you coming?" James asked.

Sirius shook his head and answered, "No. You're the one that wanted to see it, not me."

Nervously, James brought his face down to the Pensieve and could feel himself entering it once more. This scene was quite different than the previous one though. He was in a large, open yard. The sun was shining and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. There were tons of people here as well, at least seventy. They were all seated in chairs, as if they were here to watch something.

James followed their eyes and saw Sirius, Remus and Peter standing in the front. They were all wearing very fashionable dress robes and all had a smile on their faces. He then saw his slightly younger self emerge into sight. He, too, was wearing dress robes. The memory James went and stood next to his three best friends. He looked nervous, but was smiling nonetheless.

He walked along the rows of people and saw one older woman clutching onto a slip of very nicely decorated parchment. He read its words over her shoulder, "You are cordially invited to the wedding of James Potter and Lily Evans."

It suddenly hit him and he fought to find an empty seat. His head was spinning and he was breathing very deeply. For the first time, he knew what was about to happen.

His head was spinning and he shut his eyes to make it stop. However, it only made it worse and he could see the images that made his head spin. His three best friends, all laughing as he pointed his wand at a greasy haired Severus Snape. Asking Lily out, getting rejected. Joining the Quidditch team. The first day on the Hogwarts Express. Asking Lily out again. Hexing a seemingly innocent kid. Being named Quidditch Captain. Receving his Head Boy letter. Asking Lily out, her finally saying yes. His parents' funerals; Lily's hand in his. The memories flooded in his mind, each one lasting only a second.

Asking her to marry him, the warmth he felt when she said yes. An owl flying in and dropping a letter into his hands; he tossed the letter into the corner of the room, joining ten others. Joining the Order of the Phoenix with Sirius, Remus and Peter. More letters: the pile overflowing. A man's voice, "Crucio." A man's face, his wand outstretched in front of him, eyes directly on James. Letters, all unopened and shoved into a box. "Crucio!" His heart sinking, where was she? "Crucio!" Whispers in the crowd; himself vomiting in a nearby shrub. Firewhiskey, lots of firewhiskey.

When he couldn't take it anymore, James opened his eyes. To his astonishment, he was no longer in the Pensieve. He saw Sirius's concerned eyes staring directly at him.

"She never walked down the aisle, did she?" he slowly said, but already knew the answer.

...

**Author's Note 2: **Okay, I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! Hope that last little bit wasn't too confusing, or at least had the same confusion as if you were actually James. Anyways, please review! I know there are more of you who are reading and not reviewing!


	10. Letters

**Disclaimer: **I don't own HP & Co

**Author's Note: **Thanks so much to snitch-bewitch, pippapear, BlAcKdAuGhTeR, Harry and Ginny 4eva, DolphinDreamer24-7, ILuvvHP, youna, snaplappl21, CelloguyX, e.jameson, CrazzyD', IhaveaRANDOMsister, prettywheezy, greenbean16, Katie, the-necromancer, tasha27, DeadlyCreative, heart11broken, NJ MacReiley the Helpless Romantic, DanceDiva, Soccer Freak 101, feri, hpotterfan2047, Expectance, Grace Potter Evans, IHeartJamesPotter, letschangetheworld, Miss Sammi Potter, Jennifer, shetlandlace, Amanda, oldestof3, blackthestral, searchingforstories, Sarah, siriusforeva, LBJ equals life, voldie90, ahoyhoy, AnitaPotter, mika-pali, redglasses, mansts, enchanted-legend, callie258, gitgit, Haven Linn, buttonbit, Nephila, An Aspiring Author, xSecretEvansx, theialyn, TaylorxxSue, dracosbabygrl, dotheycJesusinme, Blue-Eyed Chica, Miss. Broadway, uknowuluv me, flowerypetal, and holabitches100 for reviewing! You guys are awesome!

Sorry about the delay in updating, I know, it's highly unusual for me not to update for over a week! But, in my defense, I recently moved to a new house, so I haven't actually had the time to sit down and write until now. So, without further ado, here's chapter 10 and I hope you all enjoy it!

...

_**Death Eater Among the Ministry**_

_Six months ago, five supporters of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named escaped from the Ministry's grasp. It was reported as a blunder of Auror Troy Remington, 42. However, what if it was not an accident? It has recently been discovered that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has indeed infiltrated the Ministry of Magic, recruiting Ministry employees to join Him in His task to rid the world of Muggles of Muggle-born wizards._

_Ex-Auror Remington has been accused of these charges and has been sent to Azkaban awaiting his trial. Head Auror, Bartemius Crouch exclusively told the _Daily Prophet_, "The escape of those five Death Eaters six months ago will be reinvestigated at once, as well as all cases that Remington was assigned to. The Ministry plans to do a thorough investigation on Remington and all known associates. I, personally, will not rest until all mistakes are fixed." _

_When asked if he became suspicious of Remington after the incident six months ago, Crouch answered, "No comment." So how did Remington's very secret life become known to all? It certainly wasn't the Ministry's poor efforts to investigate the truth behind Remington's many slip-ups. Instead, it was from a local hero, James Potter, 22. _

_Potter, former Head Boy and son of the deceased Geraldine and Paul Potter (both of whom held high Ministry positions), informed the Ministry of Remington's dark activities. According to Potter, "I was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or, you know, you could say the right time at the right place rather. I saw Remington attack a Muggle and laugh about it. I couldn't just sit and watch so I confronted him on the issue." That brave move could have cost Potter his life. Remington, forgetting about the Muggle, attacked Potter at once. Potter doesn't recall all of the evening's events, although clearly does remember Remington using the Cruciatus Curse on him. The results of their duel landed Potter in St. Mungo's with severe burns, broken bones, and amnesia. Potter was attacked for a second time, the day he was released from St. Mungo's. It has not been confirmed, but it is assumed that Remington attacked Potter again, not wanting his secret to escape Potter's lips. However, Remington was once again unsuccessful as Potter's friend, Sirius Black, 22, heard a strange noise and hurried into the room before Remington could finish his task. _

_The attack put Potter back in St. Mungo's, although he did not suffer from any serious trauma. In fact, that very day Potter's memory returned and he rushed to the Ministry of Magic to share his findings. Crouch informed the _Daily Prophet, _"We couldn't have done it without James Potter." Potter was given the Order of Merlin, Third Class for his discovery of Remington's secret lifestyle. _

James sighed as he reread the article in the _Daily Prophet_. It was almost entirely accurate; the only false information published had been how James had discovered Remington. The truth was that he had been trailing Remington for nearly a month prior to the incident, for the Order. Otherwise, it reported the truth. It told the story of how James had landed in St. Mungo's for a week.

He sighed again, not wanting to look at the paper any longer. On the very front, there was a picture of Remington at Azkaban, looking miserable. James shoved the paper into the trash as he walked into the kitchen. He went to the fridge and grabbed a firewhiskey. He popped it open and took a large gulp, feeling better already.

Once again, James found himself alone at home. His boss had insisted that James have the remainder of the week off, despite James's efforts at informing him that he was perfectly okay. Of course, his best friends all had work as well. This just left James, alone at home with his copy of the _Daily Prophet._ It was as if he was back at St. Mungo's!

No, James told himself, he was definitely not back at St. Mungo's. Truth be told, he had never been completely alone at St. Mungo's. Sure, there were times when he had been by himself and bored, but it was still different. At St. Mungo's, he always knew she would come see him, he could always count on her.

He shut his eyes, wanting to block it all out. He didn't want to think about Lily anymore. Sirius had been right all along; James should have never gotten close with her again. It was too painful. She had hurt him too much in the past. She had left him standing there, looking like a fool as he waited and waited, insisting that she would come. But she never did. Lily had left him standing at the alter; she had left him there all alone.

James took another gulp of his firewhiskey. He had spent months trying to forget about her and all the pain she had caused him. But now, now all he could see when he shut his eyes was her smiling face. He could only see her bright green eyes as they danced with amusement. He could only see the sorrow on her face as she changed his bandages and water swelling in her eyes as she took in the worst of his burns.

"_When you get your memory back, please come see me again,"_ she had asked him before hugging him goodbye.

Ha. Fat chance of that happening anytime soon. She had hurt him so much, he would gladly take those burns back than be hurt by her again. Go back and see her, yeah right. He couldn't do that, he wouldn't do that. Having her as his Healer was a mistake; it should have never happened. He should have never even seen her again.

"_We really should talk, okay?" _she had whispered into his ear. _"When you get your memory back. Please, when you get your memory back."_

She had sounded so desperate. He could clearly see the tears in her eyes as she spoke, the puffiness forming beneath her eyes. James felt a pang in his stomach and his heart sink. That look on her face, he would never forget it. He had never seen her like that, pleading. It was never something she did if she could help it. But there she had been, practically begging him to come see her.

James took another gulp of his drink as he set off toward his bedroom. He stood in the doorframe and looked at the scene of his second attack. It was exactly how he had left it; the box of Lily's stuff was sprawled across the floor, dropped upon impact. He merely stood there, staring at it.

Finally, James walked into the room and set his firewhiskey on a nearby dresser. He sat down among the clutter and cautiously eyed everything. He picked up the golden snitch that she had given to him for his birthday and read the engraving, "Love, Lily" it had read. Yeah right.

He threw it into the nearby empty box that formerly held all of his "Lily" possessions. James picked up a t-shirt and threw it in as well. It was one of his shirts, but Lily always wore it when she spent the night. Every time he saw it, it reminded him of her. James sighed; it was all such a mess. The letters were all scattered about. He began to collect them, which took a considerable amount of time as there were so many of them. He paused once he reached the one he had opened the other night. There was a small voice inside his head telling him to read it in its entirety. James fingered the letter for a minute, but in the end he shoved it in with the other unopened letters. What was the point in reading it anyway?

Next, James tossed in the broken framed photograph of him and Lily. It was the one he broke the day of what was supposed to be his wedding. He knew that if he had looked closely enough at the knuckles on his right hand, he would see a small bump in which a small piece of glass resided beneath his healed skin.

He reached out and grabbed the next item, a small black box. There was no need to look inside it; James already knew its contents. Inside that box, there were three rings; Lily's engagement ring, his wedding band, and her wedding band. He had had every intention of bringing the three rings back to the jewelry store, but once there, he couldn't do it. He couldn't hand over the three rings. Instead, he put them all into one box, which was supposed to be left and forgotten about.

Knowing he shouldn't do it, James opened the black box. He pulled out the two weddings rings, which had been tied together on a small ribbon. They were both platinum and engraved inside each ring were the letters "L & J." His ring was wider than hers, but otherwise they were the same.

Next, he pulled out Lily's engagement ring. It was also platinum, but held a large diamond surrounded by green emeralds in its center. He smiled softly, remembering the day he bought the ring. It was never his intention to propose to Lily, not yet anyways. But the moment he saw the ring, he knew it was right. He knew it belonged on Lily's finger and knew he would be happy spending the rest of his life with her. So much for that thought though. A month after the wedding date, James had sent Sirius to go pick the ring up, not wanting to look at Lily himself. James didn't know how Lily had reacted to that notion. Sirius had tried to tell him, but James refused to hear it. At the time, he didn't want to hear any of Lily's excuses.

James shoved the ring back into the black box and tossed it in with the rest of Lily's belongings. He got to his feet and grabbed his firewhiskey again, taking one long sip of his drink. Why was he doing this to himself? Why wasn't he using magic to clean up the mess?

He stared at the box on his floor. He knew the answer; he had known the answer the moment he set foot in that room. In fact, he had known the answer to that question the minute he had gotten his memory back.

James stepped forward and sat on the ground again. Then he pulled the stack of letters forward and onto his lap. Picking through them, James found the first one, the one he had almost read two days prior.

_J- _

_I'm so sorry, you have to believe me. Please believe me, I'm sorry. I love you and I always will love you. I never meant to hurt you. Trust me, the very last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you. _

_I don't know what happened there, I guess I just sort of freaked out a bit. I'm sorry and I love you._

_-L_

He tossed the letter aside and tore open the next.

_J-_

_Are you okay? I know it's only been a day, but you always write back quickly. I'm worried about you. Please write back. We need to talk about what happened. But until then, just know that I love you and I miss you terribly. _

_-L_

He opened several more; they all said the same message. He tore open another, dated ten days after the first letter.

_James,_

_I know you aren't speaking to me and I know I deserve it. I did a terrible thing, the worst anyone could possibly do. I'm so sorry; I really am because I love you so much. You're probably wondering how I could love you so much but not marry you. I know you and you are probably reading this and thinking that very thought. And the answer is that it's just not that simple. _

_We're only eighteen James, we're still so young. And I'm not too proud to admit that I got scared. Eighteen, it's so young. We're still fresh out of Hogwarts and we haven't even been dating a year! I know those are stupid excuses, but it's how I feel. And don't even think that I don't want to marry you, because I do. When I picture myself in the future, you are always there with me. But all the same, I'm just not ready to be eighteen and married. When you proposed, I was so excited. I couldn't think of anything that could start out my summer better. But then when you said we should marry by the end of the summer, I started get scared. I had pictured a long engagement, one of at least a year, not two months. Then when your parents died, I thought you might want to push the date back a bit. It only made you want to get married sooner though. You were so persistent on September 15__th__ for the date though. _

_I know I should have expressed my concerns sooner, but I know you and I knew how you would react. You would accuse me of not loving you, which is completely false because James Potter, I am head over heels in love with you. So, I decided that I must just be having pre-wedding jitters. Then, as I stood there in my wedding dress, I just, I broke down James. I got so scared that something bad would happen if we got married too soon. All I could think of was you realizing what a mistake it had been two years from now and leaving me. I know its stupid, but I couldn't take it. _

_If I could take it all back, I would. You have to believe me, James. I love you more than anything or anyone else in the world. I wish I could turn back time and change everything because these ten days away from you have been the worst ten days of my life. I miss you and I love you. Please forgive me, please talk to me. _

_Yours forever,_

_Lily_

James roughly crumpled up the letter and tossed it near the others. What was she talking about? If she had said something to him, anything, he would have understood. Who did she take him for? He would have listened to what she had to say. He would have postponed the wedding until she felt more comfortable. He hadn't pressured her into anything at all.

If he could remember correctly, and indeed he could, she was the one who had picked out all of the floral arrangements and done all of the preparations. She had been excited about the wedding, just as much as he had been. And his parents' deaths certainly didn't make him want to get married sooner. Sure, they had been a golden couple, similar to he and Lily while at Hogwarts, but their deaths didn't mean he wanted to get married. He wasn't hiding from their deaths by marrying Lily; he wasn't driven to make her his only remaining family. Right?

He shut his eyes and rubbed his temples. He would have listened, right? He could see her face vividly. Two and half years ago she had come to see him after a long shift at St. Mungo's; James could see the exhaustion in her face, she could barely keep her eyes open. She had openly talked to him about the wedding, wondering if now was the right time, especially because she was so busy at the hospital. He had laughed and blew off the topic completely.

There were more times; he knew it. He didn't want to admit it, but he knew it was true. In the ring shop, she had been hesitant to pick out the rings. At the time, James thought she was merely waiting for the perfect ring. Now though, he saw it for what it really was. She had been desperate to push back the wedding. But no, James hadn't listened. He had insisted that they get the simple ring, insisted that they get it at that instant.

James grabbed the remaining letters and read each one, as if they were addicting novels. Finally, he reached the last one, which read:

_James,_

_By now, I know you haven't read a single letter I wrote. But maybe, just maybe, you'll slip up and accidentally open this one. Or perhaps, by chance, you'll keep them for another day. If I'm lucky, you'll save my letters and read them all one day. And on that day, I can only wish you the best of luck in wherever you are in life. I hope you will have achieved everything you ever dreamed of, or are at least on the way to doing so. _

_Just know that when you do read these letters, whether it be two months, two years, twenty years from now or even when we're old and gray, I will always be here for you. Before you, I thought I had known and lost love. But after two months of being with you, I learned the true meaning of what it meant to love someone and be loved by someone. I have never cared for anyone the way I have cared for you nor can I imagine myself ever loving anyone other than you. I'm sure I'm just being dramatic by writing that and I'm sure you're laughing at me now, but in a way its true. You'll always be my first love and you'll always have a piece of my heart with you wherever you may go. _

_Don't forget about me and don't forget about the love we shared. Most of all, don't forget that I will never stop loving you._

_-Lily_

James reread her final letter and felt his heart swell. After spending one week with her, he knew she had meant every word in that letter. He knew that she hadn't treated him like any other patient. After all, she had never stopped loving him.

But the question was, did he ever stop loving her?

...

**Author's Note 2: **Thanks so much for reviewing! We're almost to the end of the story, sad I know, but kind of exciting, right? Anyways, you all know what to do: REVIEW... please?


	11. Goodbye Stranger

**Disclaimer: **I don't own HP & Co.

**Author's Note: **A HUGE thanks to snaplappl21, holabitches100, Blue-Eyed Chica, e.jameson, Sarah, Shadowrayne, Amanda, shetlandlace, Kayarin, AnitaPotter, Bec, Evilgal, IHeartJamesPotter, Grace Potter Evans, BlAcKdAuGhTeR, JelloStix, Jennifer, leonidus, Anime Wildfire, gitgit, searchingforstories, CelloguyX, DolphinDreamer24-7, snitch-bewitch, teepirategirl, youna, oldestof3, WerewoldWitch, TaylorxxSue, flowerypetal, Miss Sammi Potter, pippapear, hpotterfan2047, Bighead Enterprises, R.L.N Tonks, AnnieM, Just Call Me Mrs Lupin, Blair.The.Adorable, callie258, buttonbit, SuprSmartChic, Romancing Hogwarts x3, Katie, mika-pali, IhaveaRANDOMsister, An Aspiring Author, and xSecretEvansx for reviewing! You less than ten percent of my readers who actually review are awesome!

...

James paced the room. This was too much, way too much. He had just spent the past two hours reading and rereading Lily's letters. She had confessed everything to him, from why she couldn't walk down the aisle to her childhood dreams to her never ending love for him. She had promised that she would never stop loving him and after just one week at St. Mungo's, James knew it was true.

How was he supposed to react though? Was he even reacting like a normal person? At the moment, all James could think of was Lily's letters. He was confused by them. They had just turned his life upside down. After all, he had spent the past two and half years bitterly hating Lily Evans for leaving him. He could clearly remember a time when the pure thought of her made him vomit because it always led to thinking about their almost wedding day.

At the same time though, he had spent one week with amnesia in her company. At that time, he simply thought of her as a beautiful, smart, funny, and kind Healer. In fact, he thought she was perfect. Just days prior, James had been looking forward to her long visits in his room. He had dreamed about her admired everything about her.

How was he supposed to find a balance between the two? How was he supposed to sort out everything he was feeling inside? He was just too torn. There was a part of him that still held the bitter thought of Lily, but another part that told him he had kept her possessions stored under his bed for a reason.

Why couldn't it have been simple? If only Lily hadn't been his Healer! In that case, he would have never gotten to relearn everything about her from their Hogwarts days, he would have never opened the letters she had sent him two and half years ago, and he would have never been this confused.

Then again, his gut told him that maybe it was a good thing that Lily had been his Healer. Maybe this was like a second chance, but for whom? For him or for her? Better yet, did it matter?

Women! They were just too confusing. Now Quidditch, that was simple; there are rules and if you break them the other team gets to take a penalty shot or you get ejected from the game, no exceptions. But women, no, no, no, they are different. The rules are different for every woman. Lily didn't walk down the aisle, does that mean she's out, ejected from his life or is it just a penalty?

And now she's here telling him that she'll never stop loving him. But what does that really mean? Will she love him but leave him again? She claimed to have always loved him, but couldn't marry him. Yes, they were younger then and James fully understood that he might have pressured her into getting married too soon, but would she leave him again? And that is why women should be more like Quidditch, James thought to himself. If they were, he wouldn't have this problem to begin with.

Sighing, James grabbed the empty bottle of firewhiskey and walked out to his sad excuse for a kitchen. He tossed it in the trash and grabbed another bottle. He needed a drink; his head was hurting from all the confusion about Lily.

As if there was some greater power knowing that James needed a break, the doorbell rang almost instantly. With the bottle still in hand, James opened it, revealing Sirius.

"It's one o'clock in the afternoon," Sirius commented, nodding toward the bottle of firewhiskey.

"Shut up," James lazily replied.

"What's with the bottle anyway?" Sirius asked. "Something up?"

"No," James lied. However, once he saw the doubtful look on his best mate's face, he confessed, "I spent the past two hours looking at a box of Lily's stuff and reading those letters she sent me."

"And?"

"I dunno."

"And it's driving you to drink at one o'clock in the afternoon," Sirius stated.

"This is my second," James said. "It's not drinking, it's just a beverage."

Sirius gave him a look, but didn't say anything more on the subject.

"She's just so confusing," James said. "I don't know what to do. She told me she'd never stop loving me, in her letters. And, well, I think she meant it. When I was at St. Mungo's, I felt something different when I was around her and she spent so much time with me. I kissed her too. But am I just going mad or something?"

"Probably," Sirius replied, helping himself to raid James's cupboards for food. He found an unopened bag of potato chips and helped himself to it. "But aren't we all when it comes to women?"

"You're not helping."

"Well, what do you want me to say?" Sirius asked. "Do you still fancy her?"

"I, I don't know," James answered.

"You either do or you don't," Sirius stated.

"It's not that easy."

"Then maybe you don't fancy her," Sirius said.

"But, she's, she's Lily," James sighed.

Sirius sighed and surveyed his best friend. "Okay, listen. I've seen her a couple times over the past couple years, before last week." He saw James's confused look and added, "Not intentional, but at Diagon Alley. Anyways, she wasn't the same Lily from Hogwarts. She put on a pretty good act, but it's still not her. When you were in St. Mungo's, well, that was the Lily Evans I knew at Hogwarts."

"She still likes me," James stated, even though he had already known the answer.

"Do I look finished?" Sirius asked before continuing, "I also know that even though she was miserable after not marrying you, for the past two and half years, I haven't forgiven her for it. It doesn't matter how upset she was, because you're my best mate. That's why I didn't want her to be your Healer. I wouldn't ever forgive her for what she did unless you forgave her."

"I know that."

"But I forgive her now," Sirius said.

"What makes you think I've forgiven her?" James asked.

"Two and half years ago, you wouldn't even consider going to meet her and you didn't care that she was still in love with you," Sirius replied. "That's how I know you've forgiven her."

An hour later, once Sirius had left, James was still contemplating what to do. Was Sirius right? And if so, just because he forgave, not that he had, but if he did, did it mean he still loved her? No, forgiveness is different than love. But hadn't his inability to forgive her the reason he stopped being with her? It wasn't that they had fallen out of love. James had just been too hurt to believe in love.

James grabbed his photo album and turned to the back of it, past the pictures of the Marauders and Quidditch. He stared straight at the muggle photograph, the one of he and Lily on the second to last day of their Hogwarts career. In the picture, he had both arms wrapped around her and a giant grin on his face. They were holding hands, which had forced Lily's arms to cross in front of her chest. She looked so happy and full of life; her smile revealing a mouth full of pearly white teeth.

As he stared at the picture, James realized that those were the best days of his life. His time at Hogwarts, with Lily locked in his arms, were the memories that made him smile. When he had been with her, there were no other worries in the world.

Sirius had been right all along. He had forgiven Lily. It took two and half years, a week of amnesia, and months' worth of letters to do it, but he had forgiven her. He had finally come to terms with the past. He could finally look in the mirror and proudly say, "I'm over what happened; the past is in the past."

Now the only question was: did he still love her? He glanced down at the picture again and the answer was clear. Of course he loved her. He had fancied her since fourth year and loved her since seventh. He had spent the past six and half years admiring everything about her. Feelings like that just didn't disappear. They can be hidden, but never disregarded completely.

With that thought, James smiled. He could feel his heart speeding up and his stomach fill with butterflies. He was in love with Lily Evans. And to make it even better, she was in love with him.

He stood in the middle of room, just thinking about what it was going to be like to hold her in his arms again. That kiss in the gardens wasn't long it, it didn't satisfy his desire for her. Merlin, what it was going to be like to kiss her again! He could imagine it now; her soft lips on his, the cherry lip balm she always wore, his arms wrapped around her waist, and her hands clapped on either side of his face, drawing him nearer. It would be amazing, just amazing. No, not would, it _was _going to be amazing.

Then it came to him: what the bloody hell was he still doing in his apartment?

Pausing only to brush his teeth and put on a touch of cologne, James hurried as fast as he could while trying to look presentable. He aparated out of the apartment and straight to St. Mungo's. This was it; he was about to tell Lily the truth. He was about to confess his love for her.

He felt a burst of energy run through his veins. This was it. He was going to be with her again. There was nothing that could hold him back from her; not the butterflies in his stomach, the increased speed of his heart, or the stupid negative thoughts he had about her months prior. There was nothing in his way now.

Once in St. Mungo's, James ran straight to the reception desk. Unfortunately, there were several people in front of him in line, including a witch who appeared to have a bout of dragon pox and a wizard who was emitting smoke from his ears. Merlin this was going to take a while. However, there was nothing he could do but wait. He would never be allowed through the entrance without a visitor's badge.

A witch whose hair was growing inches every minute slowly walked out of the line and into the building. One down, five to go. He craned his neck, trying to see who was next. However, he couldn't see any apparent illness on the wizard at the front of the line. What was taking so long anyways? James looked down at his watch. He was antsy. He needed to talk to Lily. He needed to tell her how he felt. He needed hold her in his arms again.

The wizard made his way through the doors; four more left until his turn. What would he say to her anyway? "Lily, I still love you." No, that didn't sound right. It was too blunt, not romantic enough. He knew Lily liked the romantic acts; he didn't want to let her down with such an ordinary, boring thing to say. She deserved more than that.

Another wizard left the line; two down, three to go. Fuck. What was he going to say? He began to panic and could feel a line of sweat forming at his hairline. He nervously bit his lower lip; what the bloody hell was he supposed to say? "Hi, um, Lily. I just wanted to let you know that I love you and I always will love you." No, once again, corny. It was dumb. It was the type of response he would expect anyone to say. But he wasn't just anyone and Lily wasn't just any girl.

The witch with dragon pox now stood at the front of the line, talking with the receptionist. It was almost his turn. "Lily, I know I've messed up and acted like a stupid prat, but if what you wrote in those letters is still true, well, I'm here now and I love you." No, that sounded too whiney. It wasn't right. He didn't want Lily to think he had expected her to wait for him.

The wizard with steam coming out of his ears was now talking to the receptionist; James would be next. He was getting really anxious now. The palms of his hands felt sweaty and he tried to wipe them on his robes.

"Next," the receptionist lazily said.

James hurried forward.

"And what is your purpose? Patient or visitor?" she asked with that same bored tone.

"Um, visitor."

"Patient's name?"

"No, no patient," James replied. "I'm here to see Lily Evans, she's a Healer."

"And she's probably very busy."

Okay, James was really starting to dislike this woman. He glanced at her name tag and said, "Listen, Trudy, you've got to help me out a little bit. I just need to see her for a brief moment, it's urgent."

"Sorry, no can do," Trudy replied.

"Okay, fine," James quickly said. "I was a patient here a few days ago and er, I think something might be wrong. I think I might be having a reaction to one of the potions. And well, Lily was my Healer so I need to see her."

Trudy eyed him for a moment, a sour look on her face. Finally, she asked, "What's your name?"

"James Potter."

She pointed her wand at the file cabinet and out came a folder. She searched its contents and appeared to be satisfied. "Fine, through the doors and one of our interns will escort you to your room."

James followed Trudy's instructions and was greeted by a very nervous young girl. She couldn't have been older than eighteen and James assumed that she must have only just graduated from Hogwarts. She clumsily pushed the buttons on the elevator and James was growing more annoyed at her carelessness with each accidental stop they made. Finally, they reached the proper floor and the intern brought him to an empty room. She dropped his folder on the floor before managing to put it in its proper slot and leaving the room. Needless to say, he was quite pleased when she left.

Ten minutes later, there was a knock on the door followed by its creaking open. James's heart leapt. This was it. Lily was bout to come in and he was going to think of a clever way to tell her that she'd always be the one for him. Yes, that was it. "Lily, I've been head over heels for you since fourth year. I've always known that you were the girl for me, always will be the girl for me. I love you." Yes, that was what he was going to say to her.

However, instead of Lily's petite form and brilliant red hair, a very tall woman with black hair entered the room. "I see you're suffering from a reaction from one of your previous medications," she stated.

James only stared at her in confusion. Who was this woman? Where was Lily?

"And what are your symptoms?" the woman asked.

"Where's Lily?" James questioned, finally finding his voice.

"She's left for the day," the Healer answered. "But I assure you, I can certainly take care of you."

"No, you don't understand," James stated, jumping up from the bed. "I'm not sick, I, I just need to see Lily. Its urgent."

"I can handle whatever's wrong with you," the Healer informed him, displaying her annoyance with him.

"Nothing's wrong with me," James shouted. "I just need to see her."

"Mister Potter," the Healer, Amy, as her nametag indicated, said. "If you would please sit down and let me examine what's wrong. I assure you, just because Lily was your Healer last time you were here, I know exactly what potions she used to treat to you."

"Fine, you want to know what's wrong with me?" James shouted. "I'm in bloody love, that's what's wrong. If you can somehow get Lily here, then yes, you can help me. But otherwise, you can't and I'm leaving."

Amy seemed to be quite taken aback by his outburst. She merely stepped back from the door and allowed him to exit.

Still angry about wasting so much precious time at St. Mungo's, James hurried down the hallways. He pushed the elevator button, but grew anxious with how slowly it seemed to be moving. He couldn't help but think that stupid intern was probably messing with the buttons again.

Grunting, James quickly made his way over to the stairwell. He was taking them two at a time, wanting nothing more than to get out the building. In fact, he felt rather foolish. He had spent the past forty-five minutes here. He should have gone straight to Lily's apartment; he wouldn't of had to mess with any of this foolishness if he had started there.

Then he saw it: a flash of red hair. Lily? It couldn't be Lily, could it? Amy had said Lily was gone already, but she never specified when Lily had left. Could it be her? He felt his heart begin to hammer again and completely forgot about his anger.

"Lily," he called out.

Two flights of stairs below him, the woman with red hair came to an abrupt stop. It was her! He could feel his hands begin to sweat; his heart was pounding faster than ever and butterflies flooded his stomach. A new burst of energy traveled the length of his body and he broke into a run.

There was no stopping him now. He was finally going to hold Lily in his arms and tell her he loved her. He was going to kiss her senseless and she was going to be his once again. There was nothing in his way.

Except, BAM! Darkness.

…

His head was pounding. He could feel each individual throb. He heard voices too, but couldn't make them out through the muffled sound. Slowly, James fluttered his eyes. All he could see was whiteness. What had happened?

Suddenly, the whiteness was invaded. He could see her face, a look of worry across it. Her red hair hung loose around her shoulders, falling in front of her face as she leaned over him. He could see a piece of gauze on her hand and felt it press against his forehead.

"Lily," he mumbled.

"James!" she exclaimed, "Are you okay?"

"What happened?" he asked as he sat up and took the bandage from Lily's hands, still applying pressure to his forehead.

"You were running down the stairs and a door opened," she replied. "And well, I guess you didn't see it coming."

He looked at his surroundings; he was still in the stairwell. There were a few drops of blood on the white stairs, his blood. Another Healer came running through the nearby door, which James noticed also had a small trace of blood on it. She handed Lily a bottle of potion and looked quite ready to stick around, but Lily told her to leave.

"Here, take some of this," she said, pouring the contents of the bottle into a small cup.

He did as he was told; his headache stopped at once. Lily then proceeded to rub another potion on his forehead; it stung a bit, but Lily assured him it wouldn't get infected now. She then opened a clean band-air package and pressed it against his forehead. He felt his face flush as her fingers touched his skin.

"You're starting to get a bad habit of knocking yourself out, you know," she commented as she gathered the messy bandages.

"In my defense, the other two times really weren't my fault," he stated.

"No, just this one," she replied. She was still squatting in front of him, whereas James sat on the stairs. "What're you doing here anyways? Other than trying to get amnesia again, of course."

He softly smiled at her, but then more seriously replied, "You asked me to come."

"And I promise, I never thought you'd wind up with another injury in the process," she said, flashing him her brilliant smile.

"I'd hope not," he remarked. He grabbed her hand and pulled her next to him, sitting on the stairs.

"I, I just wanted to say that it was really nice seeing you this past week," Lily said. "I mean, it would have been nice if you hadn't been injured and all, but nonetheless, it was good to see you. I, I just thought it would mean more once you had your memory back."

"Well, it was nice to see you too then," he replied. He sounded friendly, but on the inside, he was screaming. Was that it? Had he mistaken the signs? Did she move on? Did she even still care about him, more than friends that is?

"And we should really keep in touch," she added. "You know, outside St. Mungo's. I don't want to be treating you for any more head injuries."

"Right," James stated. And he ran into a door for this? He had spent the entire day pondering what to do next for this? He couldn't have read the signs wrong, could he?

He got to his feet at once, although did need the help of the railing. Lily stood up as well. She glanced at him and said, "Well, I, I had better get these in the trash," as she motioned to the trash.

"Yeah," he stupidly said.

"Well, bye James."

"Bye," he said and watched as she began to walk up the stairs. What had just happened? This was not the vision he had been dreaming about. It was far from that. She wasn't supposed to use the "let's be friends" routine, she was supposed to love him. This wasn't right.

He had spent the past two and half years alone and miserable. This was supposed to be his second chance. Remington attacked him for a reason, James was sure of it. And he didn't just get amnesia by chance. Nor was Lily assigned to be his Healer by coincidence. No, there was something more going on here. This was his second chance at happiness.

This was his second chance at being with the woman he loved, the woman he had spent years dreaming about. These things don't just happen to anyone. But there she was, walking away from him. This wasn't right, it couldn't be right.

Two and half years ago, Lily had walked away from him by not marrying him. But he wasn't going to let it happen again, not this time. He had come too far and he wasn't going to settle for loneliness.

"I read the letters," he shouted, forgetting all of his rehearsed lines.

She paused at the top of the stairs before turning to look at him.

"Did you mean what you said? That you'd be here for me and you'd love me forever?" he asked, staring up at her with such intensity that it frightened himself a bit.

"That was years ago," she said, a concerned look across her face.

"But did you mean it?" James asked. "Because I don't know about you Lily, but this past week has been the best I've had in a long time, which you wouldn't expect someone who had amnesia and severe burns to ever say. But it was, Lily."

"James," she softly said, not moving from her spot.

"And I wouldn't change it for the world either," he added. "Because I was the luckiest man alive. I got to fall in love with the only girl I've ever loved all over again. I got to fall in love, for the first time, twice. Not many men can say that, Lily, so I'm lucky because not only have I loved and lost, but I've fallen in love with that same girl again."

"James," she whispered so quietly that James could only understand her words by reading her lips.

"And so I'm going to ask once more, did you mean it?" James said.

"Every word," she replied.

James grinned at her and ran up the stair, two at a time. He met a smiling Lily waiting for him and was finally able to fulfill his dreams. He wrapped both arms around her, kissed her soft lips, and tasted her cherry lip balm.

Even when the kiss ended, James didn't release Lily from his arms. He held her tightly to his chest, not wanting to separate from her. She didn't mind either; her own arms snaked around his waist and her face was buried in his shoulder.

James smiled as he breathed in the soft scent of her hair. He caught his face in the reflection of the window and for the first time in two and half years he truly recognized himself. The stranger who had looked back at him in the mirror, full of misery and loneliness, was no longer there. Instead, he saw himself, the real James Potter, who knew nothing of those sorts.

...

**Author's Note 2: **Hey everyone, I hope you all liked the chapter! I rewrote the middle part (with Sirius) about three different times, edited out a completely useless scene, which then caused me to rewrite the ending about five different times. Soooo, I hope you all enjoyed it because I think this is the most time I've put into a chapter in a long time. Anyways, please review!


	12. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: **I don't own HP & Co.

**Author's Note: **Thanks so much to e. jameson, R.L.N Tonks, DolphinDreamer24-7, feri, Shadowrayne, snaplappl21, Soccor Freak 101, ohome, Amanda, callie258, JenJen05, BlAcKdAuGhTeR, kit, xSecretEvansx, pippapear, AnitaPotter, mansts, tasha27, gitgit, snitch-bewitch, Princess Sophie Potter, ishu 161, IhaveaRANDOMsister, anna, leonidus, Celloguyx, Blair.The.Adorable, Just Call Me Mrs Lupin, Eve1980, oldestof3, ILuvvHP, hpotterfan2047, youna, TaylorxxSue, Katie, JelloStix, shetlandlace, theialyn, Miss Sammi Potter, DeadlyCreative, siriusforeva, Dance Diva, SuprSmartChic, and An Aspiring Author for reviewing! You are all AMAZING!

Also, just wanted to especially thank everyone who has reviewed in the past, especially those of you who have thus far reviewed every chapter. It really does mean a lot to me. Now, on with the story!

...

"You ready?" Sirius asked from behind his shoulder.

"Yeah."

"Nervous?"

"Nervous isn't the word to describe it," James replied as he looked out at the crowd of nearly a hundred people.

The music changed its tune and everyone readily got to their feet, heads facing the back of the hall. James watched as three young women walked toward him, all clad in a lovely lavender dress. They each held a small bouquet of flowers and grinned at him.

Their smiles didn't comfort him though. He was too nervous for encouraging smiles. His heart was racing and his stomach gave a big flop. His palms were sweating and he nervously bit his lower lip. He felt Sirius put a hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him down, but James just shrugged it off. There was only one thing that could comfort him now and it certainly wasn't Sirius Black or the women in lavender dresses.

And then he saw what everyone in the audience had turned to see: Lily Evans, or rather, the soon to be Lily Potter. Every worry that had entered James's mind had vanished, his stomach butterflies went away, and for a brief moment, James swore that his heart skipped several beats.

To say that Lily was beautiful as her father escorted her down the aisle was the understatement of the year. James even heard Sirius mutter, "Wow" in his ear. James preferred to think of her as looking simply angelic. She had curled her red hair and let it hang loose around her shoulders; it made her wedding dress pop. But that wasn't what James was focused on. Instead, he met her eyes, which seemed to be dancing with life.

She kissed her father on the cheek once they reached the front of the room and then stood opposite of James, in front of her three bridesmaids.

"You look beautiful," he told her, which earned him the smile that took his breath away.

"Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of these witnesses, to join James Preston Potter and Lily Marie Evans in matrimony, which is commended to be honorable among all men; and therefore – is not by any – to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly – but reverently, discreetly, advisedly and solemnly. Into this holy estate these two persons present now come to be joined. If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together – let them speak now or forever hold their peace," the Ministry of Magic official said.

When it was quite clear that no one was going to object, the Ministry of Magic official continued with the ceremony by saying a few more words on the seriousness of marriage and of love itself. James had tuned most of it out, which he would never admit to anyone. However, he couldn't help it. He couldn't help but stare at Lily and take in everything about her. He couldn't help but imagine his life with her, for the millionth time, and how lucky he was to have her.

"And now Lily and James have chosen to write their own vows," the Ministry official announced and nodded toward Lily.

Lily's Maid of Honor passed her a slip of paper and Lily clutched it, as if her life depended on it, which made it almost impossible to read.

"James," Lily began, "I won't say that I'll always be there for you for the rest of our lives, because you knows it's true. But I will promise to smile and laugh with you. I promise to always be there to comfort you in your sorrows and struggles. And most of all, I promise to make your dreams mine and love each and every one of them. I love you."

James grinned at her, which seemed to make Lily relax enough to reach out and give his hand a light squeeze. She returned his smile and her emerald eyes shined beneath a shield of water.

Sirius leaned forward and was about to slip James a piece of parchment, but James turned to him and shook his head.

He then turned back to Lily and said, "It took me weeks to write my vows, but the moment I saw you walk down the aisle, I knew they weren't good enough. You make me happier than anyone could ever imagine. I love you Lily, and I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way."

With that said, Sirius handed James the rings. James looked from Lily's shining eyes to the smile on her face as he fingered the platinum ring, feeling the letters "L & J" inscribed on its underside. He smiled as he slid the ring onto her finger, settling it next to her diamond and emerald engagement ring, the one she wore four years ago.

As she slid his ring onto his finger, Lily paused and held onto his hand. He stared directly into her eyes and a silent understanding passed between them. This could have happened years ago, they could have been happily married for four years by now.

James tightened his grip for a moment before releasing her from his grasp. The past was in the past and he didn't want to dwell on it. He had more pressing matters; he had the future to look forward to. He had Lily to look forward to. He had his promise to fulfill.

"By the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife," the Ministry official announced. "You may now kiss the bride."

James's grin grew wider as he leaned forward and wrapped his bride in his arms. He laid his lips atop of hers and kissed her, tasting her cherry lip balm.

"Lily Potter," he whispered into her ear once their kiss ended.

"I like it," she replied.

"Me too," he said before kissing his bride.

...

_The End_

...

**Author's Note 2: **Hey everyone! Thanks so much for reading this chapter/ the entire story! I hope you liked it! I know, the epilogue was a little on the fluffy side, but you can't expect less than fluff for a wedding, right? Anyways, if you could drop a review, I'd be forever grateful!


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